I won't wait long. ( she's quiet, just for a moment. ) I know that this place is unpredictable, above anything else, and- The last thing I want is for him to not know.
( while Clarke knows that he's joking, that Hiro is doing his best to tease her about it, she can't help but- want to correct him. even if it is just in jest. )
He doesn't. ( a beat. ) For the record, I still believe it's you.
I talked to him. About going easy on you when you talk to him.
That's pretty much all I ask. [It's not his business. It probably sounds weird coming from him, but he strongly feels it'll be good for both of them.] We never know how long we're gonna last here. Scary, isn't it? [It's something he's put thought into.] …but I know you that.
[So instead, he focuses on the other subject, making a show of rolling his eyes.] Anyway, you can believe it all you want, but I'm not the one dating him. […wait, shit.] Not that I would ever want to? I mean he's got good qualities and whatever but Jason's not really my type or anything. [Hiro stop talking.] The point is it's not me. We…have a really, really weird friendship, if you can even call it that. I might be really important to him, but I'm pretty sure that doesn't mean he likes me best.
[There's a pause though as those words sink in.] …then I guess that means I really have to go through with it, huh? He's…is he mad?
[There's a full minute or so where she doesn't say anything. She's got a lot to think about now, in regards to meeting Riku, and the others from the worlds they know best. There's a lot she could say. A lot of things some of her wants to say, but she isn't sure where to start, or how to correctly parse them together.
This whole war thing is... it's overwhelming. In so many ways. Which reminds her of the other question she wanted to ask.]
Hiro... what do the people who live here think about all this? About the war... about the Void... about us?
I'm getting resettled. I'll have it ready for your imp to bring back to you though. Give me half an hour to make some arrangements on my end. But thanks. I've...been working with a lot of ideas and talking to people to make sure we're really prepared this time.
Loki's been working on them. We have a storage of them in the R&D facilities in Caer Scima (all warded and locked away, of course) but we should have enough to provide to Captain Frazer. Do you really think it's necessary to commission her? I might be able to talk to her myself and make arrangements if necessary.
[This is the sure sign that Hiro's never met Chloe.]
It's not a problem. You gave me this job and I'm doing whatever it takes to make the most out of it. I'll do my best to keep producing good results.
...let me ask you something, Lightning. How foolish do you think people are for fighting for one set of monarchs or another? I know what you think of the Shuck and how he sees death in this world. But now that you've been here for a while and now that you're starting to really see how things are, what do you think about those people?
[He pauses.] There...might be ways to fight for everyone. But the problem is the fact that there are things on the Seelie side that're destroying us before we can even get our footing. Kinda leaves some of us with little choice.
[That tells Saber that Hiro has probably never met Chloe or, if he had, never tried to get her to do something potentially dangerous.]
I have a very good working relationship with Captain Frazer. She and I understand each other, and the gold is a nonissue for me. I shall handle her and when the munitions are ready for transport, either you or Loki need to contact her.
I will send Grizzk to you as indicated. Hiro, I am very proud of you.
They're just like us, people with different opinions based on whoever they're listening to. It depends on who you really ask. Some of them don't see us as a threat and are willing to help us find answers. A lot of them think we're just here to hurt them and they're mad at us for being here and stripping them of their options. [Loose. He's keeping everything loose until he can tell her in person, until he can really break down all of the information he knows about this world. It's too much to load onto one person at one time.]
…there've been a couple of cases of shardbearers being killed by some of the native people. [Some. Some were killed by the Cult, which they didn't realize until later.] A lot of natives aren't very kind to us…there's a lot of anti-shardbearer sentiments depending where you go. They believe the false opinion that we're encroaching on their territory. For all we know, some of them think we're causing the Void. I hate to say it, but be careful with them, too.
[A beat.] I can explain more next time I see you. It's just…a lot.
I don't think you'll like my answer. [She is prepping him for it. Her beliefs go against the Unseelie goals in their purest form.]
Do you recall the world where Lumina and I came from? She may have called it Pulse, but it was nothing like the Pulse I knew. It had another name, Nova Chrysalia. It was a world swallowed up in unseen chaos and dying. There was no saving that world, even if I stubbornly tried.
When I saw the Void, I saw something similar to that chaos. I knew it was going to swallow up this world in much the same way, and even if it got defeated, this world would still suffer. The souls would eventually be extended and all the worlds would die out. That is why I hope for a solution quite like my own, where I bring the souls through a harrowing journey to a reborn world, so that they can make choices and go about a different path. Much would be the same. They would literally be reborn as they were.
But I don't know that that's possible. Not after meeting with the Shuck. It seems that souls here don't work the same way, and the monarchs won't grant me the power I had before unless I help them.
[And it's clear, to her at least, that she doesn't want to do this.]
What the Seelie are doing is simply what they believe is best, in the wake of the reality they face. The Unseelie are just the same. And the natives, they are afraid because no matter what is decided, they will be hurt by it in some way. Either they will die soon, or in a future that is not so distant.
But people will fight. They will believe what is best. And it's not my place to judge their choices. It's my place to judge the ones who present them with those choice. Though I use the word judgment ... loosely. I don't care to condemn them for the path that they can't control themselves. But they are using us, just as gods have used humans in my world for similar goals.
[Namely the gods, the monarchs, the ones who set the different worlds on this path.]
[He thinks of telling her that it doesn't matter if he likes her answer. Maybe even just interrupting her a few times in her story. But the longer Lightning talks, the more he starts to really listen to everything. Lumina's never been entirely clear on just what happened to Pulse, or Nova Chrysalia, or whatever. He knew about the chaos and he knew about the world dying, and he knew about the monsters and Lightning being the savior but the rest is new information that he's carefully digesting.]
...it's never been a secret that we're all kind of just pawns in the bigger picture. I've always known that, but at the same time...[How to explain...] I get what you're trying to do. And I think makes sense, in a way, bringing the souls to another safe haven that they can then choose their own destinies. The problem with that is the fact that there's nothing guaranteeing the safety of those worlds, is there? Those paths. What happens if they fall on the same path of chaos?
The Seelie believe in letting this world and all of our worlds be destroyed for starting the cycle all over again as the natural order. The Unseelie, as you know, kinda don't want our worlds to just get destroyed just because of the natural order of things...and that's why I'm following that goal. I want to break the cycle, too. I don't--I'm not ready for my world to disappear or to lose more people than I already have. I'm going to do what I can to save them and that's why I'm doing what I can here to protect my friends and myself.
And I don't really condemn them for choosing to fight. What I condemn them for is what they're doing to us, for telling the Natives lies and letting them believe that we're actually here to destroy them, for hurting my friends, for destroying my home. It's what their monarchs ordered and you're right, people are going to fight for what they will believe but...at the same time? We can't just say it's only because they're being used. They're consciously choosing how to do these things without really understanding how this world works.
[He's quiet then, hoping Lightning won't be upset with this answer.] ...some of us are trying to prevent an end like that. There has to be a different option. That's why we fight. The Unseelie goal...I understand it a lot better now, but it's not even really about doing this just because the monarchs asked. For me? It's more about the people I'm choosing to align myself with. I don't want those people to die. I can't. So...I'm sorry if you don't like my answer either. [And it's not even an argument. He's genuinely sorry because he likes Lightning's ideals and what she represents, admires her a lot already and understands what she's struggling with. But it's harder to change his mind now, even if he's open to ideas.]
Lumina doesn't know this. In fact, I think she's in denial of it, but god created a new world, and when it was time, I overthrew him and took the reins. I intended to finish the job of getting the souls where they needed to go, but it was ... lonely. I couldn't do that. [She's careful not to mention that Lumina is very much a part of her. She knows that Lumina has friends here, just as she had them back in Nova Chrysalia. Lightning had always been confused about that, but she understands it more now. She is just Lightning's chaotic loneliness given life. She can't blame her for siding with the Unseelie, even if she doesn't agree with their cause.]
I don't fault you for your answer. In an ideal world, the Unseelie goal would match with mine. It's what Lumina wants. What you want. You're important to me now, too.
But to succeed, it means a lot of blood on the hands of those people, and a world that might be wiped away before long. Ideally ... we'd let the Seelie get most of their wish, and come in and ensure that once the worlds are reborn, that we take the reins and break things then, setting everything on a better path.
I think I just showed up too late for any of that to happen. So, I think it's better to keep people from hiding from the guilt of taking a life, and keep shards from being taken. In a way, that runs counter to what the Black Shuck wants, and seems that it always has.
But if I can't follow the path I've taken back home, then I'll follow the one that preserves life. All life. I just don't think completely hitting reset and failing to appreciate and preserve the memories and hopes of people is the way to do it. That the Seelie want to take that away is shortsighted. That's what the god of my world wanted to do, and that's why I stopped him.
So, I have to walk my own path. [A rebirth doesn't save everything. She wants to ensure that hope, memories, and experiences can live on. No one has the right to take that way.]
I think... I know a little about it. There were this guy in Daonna. [Uncomfortable pause] Yuri got into a fight.
The people I met in Leathann acted all different ways too, when they got letters from friends and family about the Void. Is... it always like this?
[To end her earlier statement, she thinks, people with hearts were confusing. She didn't know a lot about them, not being able to remember having one herself. But she would have expected that having one would make things simpler, not more complicated.
( there's a snort of laughter when Hiro starts to flounder, and even if he can see her on the video, she still reaches up to muffle her laughter into her hand. it would be impossible for her to not laugh at that, and it still takes her a moment to rein her giggling in. )
It's okay, I get it. You don't want to date my boyfriend, that's a good thing.
( teasing, teasing. )
Oh- Mm. No, he isn't mad. He worried, and think that just comes out easiest as frustration for him. But it'll be okay, I promise. Just try to be patient with him.
...you had a big job back there. [Loneliness. It sort of matches up how a chunk of their court feels on and off, how people are driven by that and also then driven by the need to protect the ones who take away that loneliness. He doesn't interrupt for a moment as he focuses, though there's some shift in his voice the moment he realizes what Lightning's said. She's important to him, too, more than he had actually realized.]
I know what it really means and I know how much damage this world's gotta take before anybody succeeds. I don't want to kill anybody but I'm tired of people dying, too. The problem is that the compromise that could be available seems to have been totally eliminated or it's too complicated for anybody to really follow. [A beat.] For a long time, I thought I understood the Unseelie goals but it still took a year for it to really sink in and to really get what we were up against. In that year, a lot of things changed for us. The thing that I'm not sure about with the Seelie goal is just...how do we know that the worlds will be reborn? How do we know they'll be created the same way and not just sprout new ones that'll fall into the same cycle of war and destruction? I'd rather focus on fixing what we have here than take that chance because you're right. I don't want them to take away the memories and hope that comes from our worlds right now. I...that's kinda what I'm focused on and another reason I'm fighting here. I have a whole world depending on me, Lightning, I can't just let everyone and everything get destroyed because I wasn't working hard enough to keep them safe.
But I know what you're saying. [A pause.] I think...if we really had a solid answer, I'd take the path that preserves all life, too. But I guess the question I have for you is how certain are you that you can forge your own path and come out okay on the other end?
[That's the important part here. He doesn't want her to suffer or get killed just by trying to follow that goal.]
Not funny. [Muffling it doesn't help, Clarke, gosh. But he relaxes a bit because let's be real, he'd laugh, too.] But definitely a good thing. It'd be a total conflict of interests.
[But...sigh.] I'll be patient with him for however long he's patient with me. [Nah, he'll be patient longer. He's learning how to tame his bat-dad.] If this ends really, really badly though? You'll be the first to know. [A beat.] I'll call him tomorrow. I need to kinda think of how to approach everything.
[It occurs to her to point out that the Unseelie cause, no matter how much it preserves life in the long term, will not do the same in the short term. Lightning doesn't want to abandon her world, and the thought of being forced to do just that frustrates her. But she now knows the scope of existence is larger than that. She can't kill to protect. That isn't how protection works.]
The Unseelie cause demands loss to protect your world. Are you prepared to do that, Hiro? Or would you prefer another way?
[That is why she can't see it as only two ways.]
It's not about making sure I'm all right in the end. It's about doing things the right way. I've gotta take the risks and face them head on. How, I don't know yet. ... But I've managed to figure it out before.
A little funny, ( she argues, still the teasing edge in her voice in doing so.
even after talking to Jason, she still can't help but worry at least a little. she knows how easy it is for Hiro and Jason to clash. )
Okay. ( a beat. ) It won't go badly, though. I believe that you guys can talk it out without it turning sour. But um- Let me know how it goes, either way.
We'll see. [At least one of them believes...] I'll let you know first thing. Wish me luck...and maybe be extra-nice to him tonight to butter him up. Can't hurt my chances.
[He doesn't answer immediately, if only because he knows Lightning knows what his answer is. He prefers to find another way, but at the same time he still believes in the Unseelie cause. It's what makes sense to him now after everything he's learned in this world and though he believes there's another way to do it, it's still a matter of finding a way to accomplish it.]
All I can say is start talking to the people who've been here the longest that know some of the oldest rumors of this world. Lord El-Melloi knows a lot more than he'll let on, like I've mentioned to you before. Lord of Redgate, Saralegui...he might be another one to ask just for options. It's going to be harder to get answers the more the war comes to a head and the more people are becoming afraid. Does that bother you?
...no. [He answers, but he's also not sure he's right.] At least I don't think so. This has just started getting really bad as the Void keeps getting closer. But people are always a little confusing. The thing about people is that their opinions and thoughts change all the time. You've gotta learn to work with them but...it's not always easy. [A pause. He doesn't say anything about Yuri getting into a fight because that doesn't surprise him, really, but that's also not the point here. It means Xion's seen things first-hand.]
The one thing that people have in common is that they act different than they normally would when it's out of fear. Some people are braver, some people are more ruthless, and some people hide. The Natives? A lot of them are acting out of anger because they're afraid of what they're gonna lose, I think. It's kinda the same reason some of us are fighting, too.
Things might go back to normal someday, but who knows when that'll be? [A rhetorical question.] Stay safe until you get back to our territory, okay?
Time isn't a concern. It's the fact that too many things might be in motion for me to put a stop to them. [Though she speaks as if she is rightfully meant to put a halt to these things, it is not out of self-importance. Lightning is simply willing to take on that burden so that others can live.
Even now, she thinks of Serah. Serah would continue on even if she was frightened, and she would find a way to either find strength or grant it to Lightning. No, she knows that this is what she has to do.]
[He has absolutely no idea why she's asking him that. Or what she's thinking. Hell, half the time Hiro's not sure he really wants to know what Grell's thinking or doing but he doesn't respond beyond that. Instead, he just makes his way outside to see if he can find her.]
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