( the hand that had once been rubbing comforting circles on his back finally lifts to rest near the back of his head. it's painful, in a way, to listen to Hiro talk about this. to listen to him talk about Jason, about their relationship, about how turbulent things are, for how long it's been going on. there is so little that she wouldn't do for them that she wishes she had seen it sooner, that she had picked up on it prior to this. she wants to say she's been too busy for it, but it's just an excuse -- she should have noticed it.
the arm still snug around him doesn't move or let up in its hold, keeping him tight to her chest as he continues his explanation, letting so much more out than Clarke could ever imagine him holding in. and he has, she imagines, been holding it in for far longer than he ever should have. so she does her best now to be there for him, to be as present as she possibly can; even if she isn't sure where to begin with this, she's there, and that's truly the part that counts right now.
(she won't comment on Nico, though, even though it's not exactly difficult to put those pieces together.) )
I know he's not a bad person. Jason would do almost anything to protect any one of us. You, me, Bellamy, Ariadne -- others, too, I'm sure. I trust Jason with my life, with Bellamy's, Ariadne's, and yours, and there isn't anyone else that I can say that about. No matter his flaws, I know that Jason cares, that he's not bad.
But Hiro you have to know that it isn't your fault, or your responsibility. Jason has been through a lot, more than I know, probably more than you know, too. The little I do know is terrible. I'm not- I'm not a doctor, I don't know mental illnesses, and I can't say anything for sure about what he's going through. But I do know what triggers can be like for people after they have a really awful thing happen, and even the tiniest things can set them off.
That isn't about you, though, okay? It really isn't. You thinking that it's because of you would be like saying he caught the flu because you sneezed ten feet away from him. He doesn't react the way he does because of you; it's because of old things, old horrible things, that make things seem far harder to process than what they are.
We'll do whatever possible to help him, though. Okay? I promise.
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the arm still snug around him doesn't move or let up in its hold, keeping him tight to her chest as he continues his explanation, letting so much more out than Clarke could ever imagine him holding in. and he has, she imagines, been holding it in for far longer than he ever should have. so she does her best now to be there for him, to be as present as she possibly can; even if she isn't sure where to begin with this, she's there, and that's truly the part that counts right now.
(she won't comment on Nico, though, even though it's not exactly difficult to put those pieces together.) )
I know he's not a bad person. Jason would do almost anything to protect any one of us. You, me, Bellamy, Ariadne -- others, too, I'm sure. I trust Jason with my life, with Bellamy's, Ariadne's, and yours, and there isn't anyone else that I can say that about. No matter his flaws, I know that Jason cares, that he's not bad.
But Hiro you have to know that it isn't your fault, or your responsibility. Jason has been through a lot, more than I know, probably more than you know, too. The little I do know is terrible. I'm not- I'm not a doctor, I don't know mental illnesses, and I can't say anything for sure about what he's going through. But I do know what triggers can be like for people after they have a really awful thing happen, and even the tiniest things can set them off.
That isn't about you, though, okay? It really isn't. You thinking that it's because of you would be like saying he caught the flu because you sneezed ten feet away from him. He doesn't react the way he does because of you; it's because of old things, old horrible things, that make things seem far harder to process than what they are.
We'll do whatever possible to help him, though. Okay? I promise.