I never really meant to keep it a secret. I guess I just sorta forgot who knew and who didn't. [The question is a complicated one though and for a while all she'll hear is the sound of his footsteps. Eventually though, an answer comes.]

Because I miss them. I know it's kinda dumb but if I don't think about them I can't miss them very much so I can focus on the stuff going on here. [He recognizes that it's the same way he handled Tadashi's death and that it's not healthy but oh well.] Does it bother you that I've never told you?