[There's a very long pause following that and he still doesn't dare to move. He can't anticipate Jason's movements and even worse he knows he can't outsmart him and that makes him all the more cautious about the situation. Despite the darkness he can see Jason's feet and somewhere in the back of his head he realizes it looks stupid to stay down but he doesn't want to look at him, either.]
You already know the answer to that. [Jason doesn't know anything, but he's not an idiot. Hiro knows that. Hiro also knows that Jason wouldn't be asking something like that if he didn't have a suspicion.] Usually it's "you're gonna get yourself arrested" instead of "you're gonna end up dead", but who's counting? Back home it just meant making a better plan and finding a way around the problem so I didn't get arrested again, and here it just means doing the same thing so I don't end up dead.
[He should stop there, but now that he's started it's a little harder to stop. He already explained that much of the story. May as well come clean with some of the other things.]
I had to find a way to smash the harp on my own. Nothing was working for a long time and even after it was destroyed I...[...there's a deep breath. Well. Goodbye, bravado. Goodbye, trying to prove to Jason he's an adult. He knows the minute he says the next sentence he's losing all credibility and proving exactly what Jason's probably thought all along. He's too much of a kid to handle things. He's too weak. He can't do anything in this world. Whatever the assumption, the answer's still the same.]
The harp stopped but the nightmares didn't. So I had to figure out how to fix everything. Things are still missing and broken and I can't do anything about it and it took me a whole month to figure out that there are things I can never fix, but I can't stop trying even if it's getting worse. I don't have answers though. Nothing I'm doing is making it better. And then I saw all of your messages and I had to make sure you were okay, so...I left. I had to make sure you were okay because I can't lose anybody else. [If he's aware he's repeating himself he's not saying so. It's important that Jason knows what it means to him that he's not dead. Even after the words leave his mouth he realizes that it probably sounds overdramatic, but at the time? There was absolutely nothing but kind of a blind ambition behind his actions. He knows Jason's died once before. He's not letting it happen again.] ...that's the truth. That's what you wanted to hear, and now you know the truth.
[He braces himself for whatever Jason might have, mentally prepping himself for a few snide remarks or just another jab at the fact that he's not living up to his name or he's being an idiot or something. Anything. But it's out in the open now and he can't take it back.]
no subject
You already know the answer to that. [Jason doesn't know anything, but he's not an idiot. Hiro knows that. Hiro also knows that Jason wouldn't be asking something like that if he didn't have a suspicion.] Usually it's "you're gonna get yourself arrested" instead of "you're gonna end up dead", but who's counting? Back home it just meant making a better plan and finding a way around the problem so I didn't get arrested again, and here it just means doing the same thing so I don't end up dead.
[He should stop there, but now that he's started it's a little harder to stop. He already explained that much of the story. May as well come clean with some of the other things.]
I had to find a way to smash the harp on my own. Nothing was working for a long time and even after it was destroyed I...[...there's a deep breath. Well. Goodbye, bravado. Goodbye, trying to prove to Jason he's an adult. He knows the minute he says the next sentence he's losing all credibility and proving exactly what Jason's probably thought all along. He's too much of a kid to handle things. He's too weak. He can't do anything in this world. Whatever the assumption, the answer's still the same.]
The harp stopped but the nightmares didn't. So I had to figure out how to fix everything. Things are still missing and broken and I can't do anything about it and it took me a whole month to figure out that there are things I can never fix, but I can't stop trying even if it's getting worse. I don't have answers though. Nothing I'm doing is making it better. And then I saw all of your messages and I had to make sure you were okay, so...I left. I had to make sure you were okay because I can't lose anybody else. [If he's aware he's repeating himself he's not saying so. It's important that Jason knows what it means to him that he's not dead. Even after the words leave his mouth he realizes that it probably sounds overdramatic, but at the time? There was absolutely nothing but kind of a blind ambition behind his actions. He knows Jason's died once before. He's not letting it happen again.] ...that's the truth. That's what you wanted to hear, and now you know the truth.
[He braces himself for whatever Jason might have, mentally prepping himself for a few snide remarks or just another jab at the fact that he's not living up to his name or he's being an idiot or something. Anything. But it's out in the open now and he can't take it back.]