And that's not fair! You know that's not fair because I'd still be playing the game just like everybody else! [Joshua, you are pushing way too many buttons and he's severely unhappy with how this conversation just flipped on its head.] I could outlast your stupid Reapers. I know I could.
[Oh god. Oh god, no. Not this. Not that question. He knows it's a valid question and it's a question Joshua's been hinting at ever since they first met but he can't. He can't fathom the answer and when Joshua asks and just sits back so casually?
Hiro, unfortunately, is not nearly as casual.]
He wasn't supposed to leave in the first place! [Well that sure was an almost-shriek and a voice that breaks. He seems completely oblivious to the fact that the tears he'd been suppressing since he realized that Joshua was in his room (truthfully, the ones he'd started to let out before he noticed he wasn't by himself) are quickly spilling out and his hands fist into his hair, tugging hard to try and stop everything.
He can't even properly blame the harps anymore, can he? They certainly hadn't helped, but this has been mounting for most of the month, really.]
Shut up. Just shut up! He would want to come back. [Would he? He was so convinced Tadashi would want to come back but maybe it was wishful thinking. Tadashi…Tadashi had so much he still had left to do in the world and it's not fair. Tadashi was supposed to always be there. Tadashi was supposed to always protect him, but then Tadashi, stupid selfless Tadashi ran in after Callaghan and left Hiro behind.
He should have gone with him. He shouldn't have hesitated. He should have ran into the building right after Tadashi. He should have gone out with him, not…this. Hamada brothers were supposed to always stick together, and in a way? Maybe he failed Tadashi just as much as Tadashi "failed" to save Callaghan.
He's still hardly aware that he's busy pulling at his hair, wet, choking sobs racking his entire body as he finds himself consumed in his thought process and the very idea that maybe, perhaps, Joshua was right.
What if Tadashi didn't want to come back? Tadashi would be with their parents now. He knew them and remembered them so much more than Hiro did. Maybe he would be happy and safe with them. If Hiro brought him back…it might make things worse.
Joshua might be right. And he absolutely hates it. Somehow though among the crying he manages to push out one more sentence, though partially incoherent.]
no subject
[Oh god. Oh god, no. Not this. Not that question. He knows it's a valid question and it's a question Joshua's been hinting at ever since they first met but he can't. He can't fathom the answer and when Joshua asks and just sits back so casually?
Hiro, unfortunately, is not nearly as casual.]
He wasn't supposed to leave in the first place! [Well that sure was an almost-shriek and a voice that breaks. He seems completely oblivious to the fact that the tears he'd been suppressing since he realized that Joshua was in his room (truthfully, the ones he'd started to let out before he noticed he wasn't by himself) are quickly spilling out and his hands fist into his hair, tugging hard to try and stop everything.
He can't even properly blame the harps anymore, can he? They certainly hadn't helped, but this has been mounting for most of the month, really.]
Shut up. Just shut up! He would want to come back. [Would he? He was so convinced Tadashi would want to come back but maybe it was wishful thinking. Tadashi…Tadashi had so much he still had left to do in the world and it's not fair. Tadashi was supposed to always be there. Tadashi was supposed to always protect him, but then Tadashi, stupid selfless Tadashi ran in after Callaghan and left Hiro behind.
He should have gone with him. He shouldn't have hesitated. He should have ran into the building right after Tadashi. He should have gone out with him, not…this. Hamada brothers were supposed to always stick together, and in a way? Maybe he failed Tadashi just as much as Tadashi "failed" to save Callaghan.
He's still hardly aware that he's busy pulling at his hair, wet, choking sobs racking his entire body as he finds himself consumed in his thought process and the very idea that maybe, perhaps, Joshua was right.
What if Tadashi didn't want to come back? Tadashi would be with their parents now. He knew them and remembered them so much more than Hiro did. Maybe he would be happy and safe with them. If Hiro brought him back…it might make things worse.
Joshua might be right. And he absolutely hates it. Somehow though among the crying he manages to push out one more sentence, though partially incoherent.]
He was supposed to come back.