zerotohiro | I'll be the watcher of the eternal flame [Eachdraidh IC Contact]

Wait, Hiro, what- Who needed help? ( okay, okay, she's definitely lost on that part, but-

but her chest tightens in the worst way at the last part. Jason being angry is easy to handle; you wait it out and then try again, with a new approach, or just until the rage ebbs off and the subject can be brought up again. but this- Clarke exhales a sigh, quiet. )

I can promise you it's going to be okay, Hiro. ( a beat. ) We have a spare room at the house, do you want to come stay for a little while when you're back? And we can figure things out from there, if you want.

I should have said no to her but she needed someone to go with her and I knew how to find him and where to go and what was out there, and she believed in me and I helped keep her safe but I didn't know. [He seems to be only half-connected to the conversation because he's thinking about Jason. Thinking about how he should have told Jason he was going to Quendi, should have called him, shouldn't have tried to give him space, shouldn't have hid from him out of fear and shame and whatever else came from the last few weeks.

Clarke's offer would normally be appreciated but he shakes his head despite the fact she can't see it.] I can't. I have to go back. I have to go back, I can't leave Caer Scima again after this. I have to fix everything.

Hiro.

( her voice is a little louder now, meant to snap his attention back to her properly. )

Who needed your help, and what did you do?

Lightning. [The sound of Clarke's voice grounds him, even as his own voice sort of cracks a bit in a higher pitch as he goes on to (vaguely) explain.] She wanted to go find Shuck and asked me to help her get there so I went to Quendi with her.

( shit. )

You saw him, didn't you? ( she already knew he was angry when people had gone to him, people that were not his own. ) What happened?

He didn't even listen. [That doesn't explain anything of what happened...which means it's probably sort of bad.] Lightning was just trying to help and he's not the same as what he was and something changed. Clarke, he doesn't care. He's done with all of us.

Hiro, hey- Listen to me. ( she's quiet for a moment, taking a deep breath. ) I know he is. I know. I already talked to Jason about it, we're going to talk to the Queen- It's going to be okay, we'll figure this out, too.

[...of course she already talked to Jason about it. There's something that tugs in his brain, something he's not sure how to interpret but he doesn't dwell on it. Well okay. Those two would be okay talking to Morla. That makes sense.

But is it going to be okay? That he's less sure of and it's evident in the way his breathing's unsteady and his voice is shaky.]

Clarke, he wants to kill us and use our shards. He's not on our side anymore, he's already made his choice. [He knows she knows, but...it's scary to think about, really. And then a scarier thought occurs to him.] You can't tell Jason what I just told you about Quendi. Please. [There's more to the story he's not telling her. He knows Clarke might be able to tell, but he still can't quite wrap his head around his immense failures himself.]

Edited 2015-08-05 16:00 (UTC)

( there's part of her that hates that other people know about the Shuck's plan, not because she wants to keep the information hidden, but because it just reminds them that they're losing this war. and now they have another contender to fight against; first the Seelie, then the Cult, and now the Shuck. )

I know he's made his choice, and there's nothing we can do about that except try to anticipate what his next move is and try to keep everyone as safe as we possibly can.

( she's quiet for a moment, considering. )

Okay. I won't. But you need to tell me what else happened when you're ready, all right? ( compromise. )

[Normally, he'd take that compromise. Normally he'd agree and everything would be fine and he'd tell her what's going on.

But this time's a little different.] I can't. [It's too much. It's his fault and he can't tell her what happened until he knows how to make it stop.] I'm sorry...I can't do that.

( she sighs out her next exhale; if she hadn't been worried before, she certainly is now. )

Why can't you? ( it's a genuine question; more worried that the Shuck had done something that prevented him from talking about it. )

I'm going to figure out how to fix it. [He's busy scrubbing at his face.] I failed last time but I can fix this. I promise.

[Mostly it's that he knows Clarke worries and he knows Clarke talks, and if she and Jason are actually close now...he can get this under control and then own up to his mistakes.]

I need to go. Bellamy and I are going...you know. Tomorrow morning.

I- ( want to help. the words die in her throat, and Clarke doesn't say anything for a moment. )

Okay. Be safe, all right? ( a pause, brief. ) Love you. ( she's trying to get better at saying it to the people she cares about, knowing that all of them walk into danger so frequently. )

I will. ["For how long?" He's quiet, hearing the words and knowing he'll have to talk to Clarke eventually...but not today.]

...love you, too. [And it's a quiet disconnect. Sorry, med-mom.]

I'll be the watcher of the eternal flame [Eachdraidh IC Contact]

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