zerotohiro | I'll be the watcher of the eternal flame [Eachdraidh IC Contact]

['Cool' is not the term Thrall would use, but he's accustomed to Hiro's odd expressions now. He's been called cool and awesome a few times. It's... cute. He can sense a sort of darkness about the town, he has since he came in, but the specifics are lost on him. He might ask later.]

She doesn't remember. Perhaps they took her the same way they took us. [Snowsong licks Hiro's hands with her big pink tongue but she doesn't go for his face. Now that she's sufficiently covered him in wolf spit, she shakes herself out and sniffs at the ground.

Thrall pats her flank, then holds up the bag with his other hand.]

Meat and potatoes, an adequate staple.

[It's not his story to tell, truthfully, but he knows where Thrall can find answers if he asks. He doesn't want to focus on what's happened in the last few days. Not now. Not yet.

Instead, he's mostly pleased with Snowsong and he can't help but laugh a little as she licks at his hands. Hiro Hamada has actually devolved into a real child. He lets her leave his hands and looks up at the bag Thrall's holding, grinning slightly.]

Yeah. Definitely could eat…wait it's not bandersnatch again, is it?

[Hiro needs to be a child more often. This is war and the opportunities are somewhat bare. Snowsong's happy to oblige when her attention span comes back around, sitting her big fluffy butt right next to his feet.

Thrall snorts at the question.]

No, it is far more tasty this time. You can thank the spirits for that.

Mind leading us somewhere? We're not familiar with the area any longer.

[Yes, well, tell that to Hiro. It's war and he doesn't think the amount of time they have will allow for such things. He scratches behind Snowsong's ears again, grinning up at Thrall.]

Trust me, you have no idea how thankful I am for that. [But he steps back, gesturing for orc and wolf to follow.] Come on, we can head out this way a little further up the mountain path. You mind sitting outside for a while?

[He might, when Hiro isn't being grounded.] Of course. [He's a Frostwolf. Arid climes, be they cold or hot, have never bothered him overmuch.

Snowsong is curious about this new place. She lopes on ahead, leaving Hiro and Thrall to their own devices.]

If you are cold I can ask her to curl up with you. I think she would oblige.

[And as a tiny honorary Frostwolf, Hiro's doing his best to get used to the outdoors. As they begin hiking and Snowsong darts ahead, Hiro looks up at Thrall with his usual calm, slightly awed look.]

I might take you up on that, but the weather's not too bad yet. Besides, we're only gonna be here for a few hours. [A pause.] Thanks for coming all the way out here though. I know the trading post is kind of far from here but with everything working again it's a little easier, right?

[Thrall is warm and attentive. He even pauses to fix Hiro's shirt, which has the tag inside out.]

It was no trouble. I would cross the sea for a friend if they asked.

[Spirits know he's done it for less, a.k.a. an old man yelling at him about the END OF DAYS. That tends to get people moving.]

And as I said, Snowsong wanted to meet the newest member of the pack.

[He's kind of grown used to people fussing over him like he's an actual child, so that doesn't even faze him. Actually he's just shaking his head in response.]

Should I just assume that you've actually done that before? [Because really.] But I'll keep that in mind. You guys won't ever have to go that far. [He looks forward to where Snowsong is.] She's really cool. Kinda wish I could be like her, you know? Huge with power and speed behind me. Maybe then I could actually do something about what's happening.

An old prophetic spirit appeared to me and told me to take my people and sail. I was not pleased about it, of course, but he was right in the end. A true seer. He said that my friend was in danger, and he was.

[He follows Hiro's gaze. Gently, he sets his free hand on the boy's shoulder, rubbing a little bit and trying to be comforting.]

You'd only be a bigger target. It's better to let people like me take the hits.

[A pause. His voice lowers.]

You can always, always come to the trading post if you need to. If you feel unsafe, if your friend cannot come to your rescue, then ask me. I can hide you.

I don't think I'll ever really understand spirits and prophecies and who you can really trust. But at least you rescued your friend...right? [Oh god please say he's right, Orc-Dad.

He's still pouting slightly even with the comforting gesture and he knows Thrall has a point, but that doesn't make it any easier to accept.]

Maybe I'd be a bigger target but I'd also be a bigger threat. Isn't that the important part? I want to start teaching people not to mess with us instead of still letting everybody fight for me.

[He looks up again then, a grateful smile in place.] But I know that. Trust me, I will always remember that. But I'm also tired of hiding. I'm going to get better. ["Stronger."] I need to start being able to haul my own weight and keep you guys safe, too.

I thought I had saved him. [Thrall hesitates. He can't lie, won't lie to Hiro.] In truth, Grom saved us all... at the cost of his life.

[Thrall is a bit concerned by Hiro's shift toward wanting to fight. Still, he knows there are good reasons to fight, and there are bad ones.]

Is it simply a matter of being self-reliant, or are you driven by something else? If you fight, you risk your life and you risk your entire world. It isn't a decision to be made lightly.

[...annnnd there goes all of the wind from his sails, so to speak. He's quiet for a minute, shaking his head finally.] I'm sorry. Kinda seems like a pattern, huh?

[He probably has good reasons to be concerned considering it's Hiro and Hiro doesn't quite have the means tor eally fight just yet.]

Why can't it be both? What if I'm being driven by wanting to be self-reliant and also protect everybody here? [...but he pauses, stopping completely as he looks up at Thrall again.] What do you mean the entire world?

I think he wished to atone for the mistakes he made. But... I don't know. He is with the ancestors now. I hope he has found peace.

[It is kind of a problem.

At Hiro's question, something troubled crosses Thrall's expression.]

You don't know... Hiro, listen to me very carefully. [He stops, and he makes sure no one is around. It's just Snowsong, and his keen orcish hearing confirms they're alone. He sets his hands on Hiro's shoulders and looks into his eyes.]

If you lose your shard, you lose your connection to your world. You know that. But it also means that your world dies.

There can always be one last thing that changes your fate. If he sacrificed himself to save you guys and he's with the ancestors? I don't doubt he's found it.

['Sort of like Tadashi', he thinks, but doesn't say out loud. He stands a little taller, not breaking eye contact as Thrall speaks before it clicks. The world dies. Of course. Of course it does, why hadn't he caught onto that sooner? If the Void was threatening to take over and take the lives of everyone in the Drabwurld, and if death meant losing your shard and losing your shard meant losing your connection to your home world then why wouldn't that mean the same fate much earlier? He's a little horrified by the prospect, and at the same time he remembers something Morla said at the audience about the Shuck and what will happen if they don't stop the Seelie. The destruction of everything until nothing's left to destroy.]

Who told you that? [It's a good question, but it's still clear that he firmly believes it. This isn't something Thrall's telling him just to scare him. This is something he needs to know. But so many of his feelings depend on Thrall's answer.]

Hn.

[The wound still hurts and he doesn't want to think about Grom when he's basically standing in his position. Making mistakes, trying to teach someone younger that he might call 'little brother'... It hits way too close to home.]

Someone I trust with my life. [Considering it was told to him under a spell that prevents eavesdropping, he's pretty sure it's legitimate information.] I was told many things, not all of which I am obliged to share. You must believe me-- not as your chieftain or your teacher, but as your friend.

Fighting is a last resort.

Understandable. [But at the same time it only makes him want to ask why. It makes him want to seek answers all over again, even if they're ones he may not like.

If fighting's really a last resort...did the others know? Did the others know that their worlds would end if they were killed in action?] Why don't more people know about this then? Isn't that kinda important?

If people knew, they wouldn't want to fight. There were other courts besides the Seelie and Unseelie, once. Over thousands of years, the courts have decimated the others and taken their shards. That means they've murdered countless worlds along with their people. The amount of lives lost is... unimaginable.

The monarchs will tell you that no price is too great for victory, but... if we are supposed to be fighting to preserve the worlds we have now, then killing the Seelie means destroying what we're trying to protect.

[Snowsong pads around in a circle and waits for them in a grassy place up ahead.]

We're beset upon from both sides and the third path remains shrouded to me. Still, you deserve to know what the consequences are.

Edited 2015-06-02 01:41 (UTC)

This doesn't make any sense. [There's something wrong. He's not sure who's withholding information, or possibly who's skewing information to win favor but everything he's hearing just doesn't add up. He can believe that there used to be other courts and he can believe the amount of lives lost is unimaginable.

But how can their goals make sense if the rest of that is true? It's a lot to think about. Thrall's successfully knocked him out of that desire to fight...for now.]

So really what you're saying is we need to find a way to guide more people to the third path before we end up destroying all of the worlds anyway. Right? [It still doesn't add up, but he's focusing on this one piece at a time.]

[Thrall lets him go and follows his wolf.]

All rulers all have their secrets, Hiro-- this I know well. The corrupt ones lie and cheat to keep their people in check. [He doesn't, personally, but he does have spies in places because wars aren't only fought on the front lines.] They have for lived thousands of years. Do you really think their sanity is intact? If they were human once, mortal and feeling like us, they have forgotten. Reul's actions have more than demonstrated that.

[Yeah, he's pissed.]

Yes. But... there is no third path available. Not right now. Not without risking the lives of everyone who dreams of peace. Those who might have been neutral have every reason to hide now, and I do not blame them. The barest sniff of discontent in either court can result in death or... undeath. As you know.

[He comes to a stop beside Snowsong. His expression is dark even as he pets her ears.]

I do not want you to be made into an example. You are worth so much more than that.

There are way, way too many secrets in this place. [Not that it surprises him. Once Thrall releases his shoulders he turns to follow, but his head is craned up to look at his friend instead of the path they're walking.] You really think the monarchs are just crazy?

[That seems a little...well. He's not sure. It's a bunch of conflicting messages in his head, things he's not explictly explaining but things he'll have to piece together. Maybe talk to Jason...or somebody not Jason. Somebody with an in-between...Clarke, perhaps.]

I'm not exactly looking to be made into an example either. [Though he sure does keep throwing himself into stupid shit.] But it's also part of why I want to keep fighting. I need them to believe that I'm not going to be swayed or whatever. But if I'm not ready, I can't fight. So...what else am I supposed to do now? [And here he stops to wait, hand coming up to pet Snowsong's snout idly.]

I do. Living for too long tends to... fracture the mind. I've seen it many times on my world. I fear to think what would have become of the Horde if someone immortal were in charge. [He shakes his head. He's furious, and it shows in his voice as his tones become gravelly and deep.] There is no reason, none, to slaughter someone and then deny their spirit peace. It was a show of power and authority meant to frighten others into submission. He tortured that poor girl.

Reul has shown complete disregard for the natural cycle-- the balance of life and death itself-- and for that he cannot be forgiven.

[He growls in discontent. Snowsong whines petulantly, but then Hiro pets her nose and she's happy to lick all over his hands and face.]

Can't you contribute in other ways than the front lines? Use your clever mind and build things, then stand behind them. Or you can focus on mending wounds with those healer's hands you have.

There is always a way.

People in our world don't tend to live that long...it's rare for people to live to be over a hundred but even then some of them are still really, really smart. [He understands Thrall's anger and he'd have to agree that yes, Reul was a bit...much and the entire audience was only a show of his authority. However he doesn't say anything to agree or disagree. He's still a little wary of speaking about the politics of this world until he understands better. This is the time to listen, not argue.

He makes a face then, partially at the question and partially at Snowsong licking him again. He doesn't mind the latter nearly as much as the former though and he's looking at his hands, considering for a moment.]

Thrall. Even if I build things and stand behind them that makes me just as responsible as if I were out on the front lines fighting anyway. [It's something he's repeating from someone else, but also something he's really given thought to. While he plans on doing that as well...] And I need something big to show Morla and Reul that I'm not putting all of us in danger. Kinda like what Jason did. [Not exactly like Jason did because he's not nearly as much of a fighter as the older man, but a big gesture.] If I want to make myself a smaller target, gotta start there first.

I don't doubt that. Humans live the same on mine, and orcs as well. [He thinks Hiro is being too nice about Reul, honestly. It's clear to Thrall that the man's a tyrant and he needs to be brought down. Morla... less so, but he's turning more and more toward other options the longer he's in the Drabwurld.]

It puts you further from danger. You are not made for the front lines no matter how much you feel you need to prove yourself to them.

[He sighs deeply. This is an argument he just isn't going to win, is he? He sits in the grass rather unceremoniously, setting the bag of food aside. He's... not really hungry after this conversation.]

... I know I can't stop you, so I won't waste my breath trying. I only want you to consider what you've learned.

[He bows his head, almost a little shamed that he's frustrated Thrall with the conversation before following suit and settling on the grass, drawing his knees closer to his chest and wrapping his arms around them.]

...sorry. I know you're right. [Of course, the definition of "right" can be dependent on any given day. Thrall definitely has a point though. A good point. A valid point, especially.] Ever feel like you've learned so much but you've also learned nothing at all? I've learned a lot but the pieces still aren't fitting right. I just need to work on new projects.

[He looks up then, tentative to ask but curious all the same.] What are you doing with the trading post now that Reul threatened to kill all of us?

[Snowsong flops down on Thrall's left side, her big white ruff beneath his elbow as an armrest.]

Sorry for what? Your stubbornness? [He smiles around his tusks.] I would be lying if I said I was any better. As long as you understand that you are fighting for more than just yourself, then that is all I ask.

[He takes a nice warm bun out of the bag and offers it to Hiro.]

I know you will do the right thing when the time comes. What that is, I do not know yet... but I trust you. I also know you will make mistakes, as I did-- but that will not change your heart.

I'll be the watcher of the eternal flame [Eachdraidh IC Contact]

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