unsolitary: SKYCOLORED (377)

[personal profile] unsolitary 2015-06-14 07:30 am (UTC)(link)
( yeah, that gesture of his? completely ignored, she's not going anywhere after that.

except maybe to use the hand that isn't holding her coffee to pull him against her so she can hug him, because she knows. she knows that something is wrong with Jason, has known for a while now, even before he told her about dying in his home world. which- she can't necessarily tell Hiro about, since she imagines that isn't information Jason would be passing on to a surrogate younger sibling.

her hand moves in slow circles between his shoulders as she tries her best to think of what to say, tries to think of how she can even begin to help outside of smacking Jason Todd right upside the head to try and knock some sense into him.
)

I know. I know that there is, and we can't- That's not something we can fix for him, okay? All we can do is care about him and remind him that we care, and help however we can, but this isn't something that can be fixed by any one of us.

( her voice is tight with emotion, and it takes effort to keep it soft, comforting. because this isn't something that Hiro should have to feel, this isn't a way that anyone should have to feel. and if her conversation with Jason about Finn was anything to go by, this is the last thing Jason would want Hiro to be feeling. )

You don't make it worse. No part of this -- making it worse, making him better, fixing what's wrong -- is your fault.

( she clearly doesn't seem to mind if they're a little late; this is absolutely more important. )
Edited 2015-06-14 07:30 (UTC)
unsolitary: SKYCOLORED (403)

[personal profile] unsolitary 2015-06-14 07:58 am (UTC)(link)
( she's reached a point between the kids back home and those she knows here that not much will surprise her in the form of physical affection. her hand never ceases in its slow circles between his shoulders, and she tucks her chin in gently atop his head. )

If it's not enough, we find out what will be, and we help if we can. But Jason has to put the effort in to get better, all we can do is support him while he figures it out. And too bad if he doesn't want to hear it, I already told him I was doing it anyway. He gets reminded every day that people care about him, whether he likes it or not.

( meaning... yeah, Clarke's talked to him about how he cares about other people, and how other people care about him. it's an uphill battle, she knows it will be, but this isn't something that they can help Jason with in just a couple weeks, and it isn't something they can do without him putting the effort in as well. )

I know. It's not fair at all.

( though, as she's learned over the last two and a half years, not very many things are. but she still hates it, hates that it's unfair that they can't fix Jason, fix what's wrong, fix what happened. and it's not fair for someone like Hiro, who needs the people like Jason in his life to be better than they know how to be. it is unfair, and it's awful. )

We can't fix what's happened to make him like this, Hiro, even if we understood everything. I wish it was that easy, for the sake of everyone.
unsolitary: BUNGALOWS (020)

[personal profile] unsolitary 2015-06-16 08:59 am (UTC)(link)
( as soon as the question is posed, Clarke realizes that Hiro must know as well. there are few things that are worth asking after, but knowing about Jason and his history, his past, is certainly one of them. she isn't necessarily surprised that he knows about Jason's life in his home world, but- she does wish she had known sooner, if only so she could have helped Hiro before this.

her voice is tight when she answers, because it's still hard for her to wrap her head around. knowing that Jason had died, knowing he was adamant about not believing her, that no matter how many times she reminded him that people cared, he wouldn't believe it. all of it piles up, paired with knowing that Hiro knows, and the emotion surges into her voice.
)

He did. I found out about a month ago.
unsolitary: SKYCOLORED (377)

[personal profile] unsolitary 2015-06-20 05:19 am (UTC)(link)
( the hand that had once been rubbing comforting circles on his back finally lifts to rest near the back of his head. it's painful, in a way, to listen to Hiro talk about this. to listen to him talk about Jason, about their relationship, about how turbulent things are, for how long it's been going on. there is so little that she wouldn't do for them that she wishes she had seen it sooner, that she had picked up on it prior to this. she wants to say she's been too busy for it, but it's just an excuse -- she should have noticed it.

the arm still snug around him doesn't move or let up in its hold, keeping him tight to her chest as he continues his explanation, letting so much more out than Clarke could ever imagine him holding in. and he has, she imagines, been holding it in for far longer than he ever should have. so she does her best now to be there for him, to be as present as she possibly can; even if she isn't sure where to begin with this, she's there, and that's truly the part that counts right now.

(she won't comment on Nico, though, even though it's not exactly difficult to put those pieces together.)
)

I know he's not a bad person. Jason would do almost anything to protect any one of us. You, me, Bellamy, Ariadne -- others, too, I'm sure. I trust Jason with my life, with Bellamy's, Ariadne's, and yours, and there isn't anyone else that I can say that about. No matter his flaws, I know that Jason cares, that he's not bad.

But Hiro you have to know that it isn't your fault, or your responsibility. Jason has been through a lot, more than I know, probably more than you know, too. The little I do know is terrible. I'm not- I'm not a doctor, I don't know mental illnesses, and I can't say anything for sure about what he's going through. But I do know what triggers can be like for people after they have a really awful thing happen, and even the tiniest things can set them off.

That isn't about you, though, okay? It really isn't. You thinking that it's because of you would be like saying he caught the flu because you sneezed ten feet away from him. He doesn't react the way he does because of you; it's because of old things, old horrible things, that make things seem far harder to process than what they are.

We'll do whatever possible to help him, though. Okay? I promise.
Edited 2015-06-20 05:21 (UTC)
unsolitary: DRIFTSUIT (145)

[personal profile] unsolitary 2015-06-25 08:33 am (UTC)(link)
( the explanation at least offers her some better perspective of what the problem is between them. while Clarke definitely understands how frustrating it is for Jason to try and look out for Hiro, only to continuously be disobeyed, Clarke can't really get behind the idea of making someone that looks up to you and cares about you feel fearful. although- she's sure that part isn't precisely intentional, not completely.

her arm tightens around him, the hand in his hair stroking through it as gently as she can, her touch present but feather light. it's the best she can offer for the moment as she listens, as Hiro gives a real explanation, and- well, she wants nothing more than to be able to make things better, but Hiro is right; it's going to take a while.
)

It is, because it takes time for people to change. You have to learn to listen to the people that care about you and want to keep you out of danger, right? But Jason needs to learn to reign his anger in and not let it rule him as much as it does. But it's- Changing isn't easy, even in the simple stuff like remembering to make your bed in the morning. It takes a while, sometimes a really long while.

Fixing things, helping to make them better, it's going to be an uphill walk. For you and for Jason. But you have me with both of you while you go. Bellamy, Ariadne, and I'm sure Loki, too. When people realize that others are making an effort to change for the better, it's human instinct to want to support them. So you have all of us for this, okay? You have me.
unsolitary: BATHAUS (015)

[personal profile] unsolitary 2015-06-26 05:03 am (UTC)(link)
Well, we'll work in making sure he knows it. At least that's something everyone can do pretty easily; frequent reminders have to work in some way, right?

( she's only partially joking; after all, she told Jason she'd remind him daily if she had to that people cared about him and his well being.

at the apology, Clarke gently ruffles at his hair before dropping a quick kiss to the top of his head. casual affection comes so easily to her with certain people now that she doesn't even think twice.
)

You don't need to be sorry for this. I love you and Jason; the last thing I want is you thinking you don't have anyone to talk to about it.
unsolitary: BUNGALOWS (060)

[personal profile] unsolitary 2015-06-30 05:20 am (UTC)(link)
( she doesn't quite move right away, as though her brain is operating on a delay; it's almost a whiplash from the seriousness of their conversation into the gears that Hiro has switched to, and it takes Clarke a moment to catch up to it. once she does, she begins walking with him, falling into step at his side.

it's definitely far from over, but- it's enough for now.
)

No way, that's definitely a surprise that you get to enjoy as we go to them. I'm more interested in Nico. ( a beat. ) He wouldn't happen to be about your height, dark hair, pale, looks like he's been sad for a decade or five?
unsolitary: DRIFTSUIT (220)

[personal profile] unsolitary 2015-07-01 09:19 am (UTC)(link)
I did, last summer. He helped me with something pretty personal; he's a good person.

( she's not about to get into what Nico actually helped her with, but at least Hiro can know that Clarke does think well of him. it might not make much of a difference, and it certainly wouldn't sit well with Jason, but that's a different kettle of fish.

Clarke hums in acknowledgement as they walk.
)

It's hard to agree on anything when one half of the relationship is grounded. Even harder when you're not from the same place. ( very careful word choice there. )
unsolitary: DRIFTSUIT (083)

[personal profile] unsolitary 2015-07-03 08:11 pm (UTC)(link)
Well let's make sure Jason never does get confirmation, because I don't want to have a reason to actually be mad at him.

( Jason's frustrating, sure, but Clarke's never actually been angry with him, and she doesn't want to start. but even Clarke knows that, as much as Jason tries to deny it, he really can be a good person, and she has pretty hefty doubts over the idea that he might actually do something that bad to Hiro. )

I don't think there are any set rules for what counts as 'dating', though. I knew people who had been in the skybox for years and were still maintaining relationships with people on the outside. ( oh- right, that won't make much sense. ) Skybox was the Ark's version of jail back home, and it was only used to keep kids under 18 who had done something illegal.

So even if you haven't seen each other for a month, I don't think it means that it's not dating, at least if both of you want it to be dating?
unsolitary: DRIFTSUIT (129)

[personal profile] unsolitary 2015-07-18 12:19 am (UTC)(link)
Being politically powerful in a court does make it a lot more complicated; people are more prone to recognize him and less likely to be able to blend in. But- Hey, it'll be fine, it's going to work out.

( she's confident!!! )

Stealing food rations or medical supplies, things like murder and assault, wasting oxygen reserves. ( her voice grows a bitter edge to it. ) Doing something the council didn't approve of.
unsolitary: BUNGALOWS (031)

[personal profile] unsolitary 2015-07-18 01:40 am (UTC)(link)
The chancellor, but regardless of who the chancellor is, they are part of the council anyway, so they still choose the rules that are made. The council can vote on things, but if they can't make a decisions, the chancellor makes the final choice.

Most of the rules made sense and kept order and made people feel safe. Other ones were... ridiculous. And the worst part was that if you were over 18 and broke a law, it was immediately treated as a felony, and you were floated. ( Clarke swallows back the lump in her throat; the memory of watching her dad still felt surreal. but it's easy to hold herself in the present, instead of lingering on that awful memory. ) 'Floated' means that you were thrown out an airlock into space while you were still alive. The Ark was brutal that way.
unsolitary: BUNGALOWS (428)

[personal profile] unsolitary 2015-07-18 03:23 am (UTC)(link)
It does help, but we also were sent to the ground where Bellamy and I wound up making rules for the hundred kids we were sent down with. I was in jail, Bellamy was a stowaway because of his sister, and we wound up on Earth together.

( which is the quick version that won't at all touch on how awfully her and Bellamy got along at the start. )

I would have been if they hadn't sent us to the ground instead. I had a month before I turned eighteen back home, and I would have been given a review, but- Well, the Ark's life support system was failing, and they were floating everyone who had been arrested when they turned 18. I was lucky.

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