BREAKDOWN
PLANSBreakdown of things I hope to accomplish at various points in the year:
✖ I'm hoping to use this timeskip to develop Hiro's CR and also have him get involved in the Unseelie aspect of the Drabwurld, specifically trying to get involved with the R&D department that Saber's setting up. Update - post-timeskip: busy with R&D stuff from April until about Yule, then disappeared to fulfill the task given by Black Shuck.
✖ I want him to help with the spire projects (specifically spire 10 thanks to his quest) and also spend a lot of time at the Station, building technology that will work outside of the station that he can sell for profit/possibly be building things for Lumina's chocobo ranch. (Also building cat toys for Shijima. This is important.) Update - post-timeskip: the team of natives and sorcerers Hiro recruited during his quest helped finish Spire 10 and he spent very little time at the Station during timeskip. He built a few things for Lumina and Shijima.
✖ He'll also be building up his magical ability by acting as Lemina's Junior Premier, learning how to control his magic and also recruiting for her. He's going to spend a lot of time to effectively wield his magic. Going to learn how to use his crossbow too. Also depending, he may be learning some mild sorcery from Loki. One of his boons will be healing magic so he'll be attempting to be Tadashi be Baymax help that way. Update - post-timeskip: After their fight in June, Hiro hung back on the Guild and just acted as Junior Premier whenever Lemina needed him. He had a few students he checked in with but was largely hands-off while also learning how to control his fire magic and his wind magic. Learned to use a dagger instead. Has mastered level 1 illusion spellwork from Loki and will be looking into runic magic.
✖ If he behaves and proves himself, he will be playing a very large part in the R&D that Saber's setting up in Spire 10 acting as the Head of Project. Once that starts he will begin questioning how to make off-locket communication devices and teaming up with Rin, most likely. Update - post-timeskip: Saber named him head of project at the end of March 2701. When Rin didn't teach him right away, he circumvented her and learned to make the devices himself (accomplished by June 2701.) He's been working and will continue to work with Rin to further develop their partnership and create more tech to sell.
✖ Notable dates include a certain unhappy anniversary in the spring (sometime in the first part of April) that will cause him to basically shut down, along with his 15th birthday (headcanoned August 22nd) Update - post-timeskip: Both of these were acknowledged.
✖ CR-wise he'll be going to extreme lengths to keep in contact with Jason Todd and Loki until the three go their separate ways over the timeskip (possibly developing a friendship with Billy Kaplan via Loki as well?) Around April he'll most likely meet Joshua Kiryu and learn some very important things about him and gain a troll-guardian. Around March most likely he'll also meet Leo Valdez while unfreezing people via fire magic (tentative?) and also he will officially meet Nico di Angelo and soothe the tensions between him and Lumina, who he will also occasionally pop in and visit. In July he'll take a month off to go explore the northlands with Thrall. He'll be in contact with various people he's assisted so far and just let them know he's available if necessary but otherwise he'll be mostly exploring on his own. I want to also use this time to send him to some of the neutral territory (maybe Redgate) and also maybe make some Seelie CR since right now he kinda hates all of them. Update - post-timeskip: Jason and Hiro have had a turbulent year that ended with them splitting up for good until Hiro gathers the nerve to crawl back and apologize. He's developed very close friendships with Loki, Billy, Shijima, Eren, Lumina, Lemina, Thrall, and Howard. He's developed an extremely close friendship with Nico di Angelo as well and has since realized he has romantic feelings for him that he's yet to act on. Joshua Kiryu continues to act as a guardian angel and one person Hiro can be about 95% open and honest with and receive real answers. He developed a friendship with Leo Valdez as he assisted him thawing the Station in March and they spoke of developing secret meeting places during Samhain, along with talks of Leo's apprenticeship. In July he explored the northlands with Thrall to heal the earth and during Yule Thrall made him a member of the Frostwolf Clan. During Samhain, the Black Shuck sent Hiro on a mission with Nico to lay the dead to rest so January-April has been spent traveling.
✖ Other people to meet/build CR with: Rin, Eren, Sakura, Katsa, Shijima, Vol'jin, Saber, Sakura, Merida, Ellie, Colette. Update - post-timeskip: Has built better CR with Rin, Eren, Shijima, Saber, Merida, Ariadne, Colette, Prince Edgar and Katsa. Has met Sakura, and Ellie. Has also met and built decent with Grell Sutcliffe, Wan, Johnny Storm, Teresa, Clarke Griffin, and Lia de Beaumont.
SUMMARY OF KNOWN DETAILS
So far Hiro's only participated in the battle and also tried to play with the jabberwock. Also will soon discover he cannot, in fact, rebuild a special robot friend and will be very upset about that. Otherwise whatever! Update - post-timeskip: Haaaaaaaaaa.
SPRING 2701
SPRING IN 2,701 (Mar, Apr, May)
- MARCH - The new King of Birds, the Roc, brings late snowstorms across the drabwurld; shardbearers must combat its magic to un-freeze each other, natives, and whole areas. Monarchs are still around and boons still occur.
- HIRO'S MARCH PLANS - Hiro will be using his newly learned fire magic to help unfreeze people (team up and meet Leo? Also team up with Merida at some point.) He will also be spending time between Spire 10 and the Station, most likely trying to set up residence in both places. He will also be recruiting for Lemina's magic guild and attempting to learn more about the R&D sanction of the Unseelie that will be housed in Spire 10. Update - post-timeskip: All true save for teaming up with Merida. Hiro worked with several people this month during the freeze (Leo, Johnny, Howard, Wan, Lemina, Katsa, etc.)
- APRIL - Shardbearers shall be struck at various moments by the sound of harp-playing which inspires distractingly, disablingly intense and wild emotions, but be unable to determine the source! Shardbearers will discover that they can follow the sound only in their dreams to the dream-image of a harp which magically plays itself. Smashing the harp in their dreams will disable the spell which affects their waking moments. This is the last month monarchs will be visibly around and which boons will occur.
- HIRO'S APRIL PLANS - Hiro will be hearing the harp and stuck struggling with keeping said-emotions under wraps and will probably explode on someone. Once he figures out how to smash the harp it will be done so. Update - post-timeskip: Had a near panic-attack about his harp and had a loooong talk with Joshua about how the harps worked and also a long talk about death and morality after Hiro smashed the harp. Spent the entire month of April locked away doing research and hiding from everyone/ignoring his CR.
- MAY - Golden swans will migrate to the mainland from the southern coast, devouring newly-planted crops and seeds; slaying them turns them into solid gold swan figurines. (also the Monarchs will be gone, lockets stop working, people opting out go to sleep.)
- HIRO'S PLANS FOR MAY - Once he finds out that the swan figures can become money, he'll most likely be taking his newly-booned cat and chasing/terrorizing the swans to get money. When Mochi won't have any of it, Hiro will team up with Shijima to kill swans and get money. Update - post-timeskip: The first of May was spent hunting down Jason Todd. Afterwards he made his way to Lumina's farm and started building automatic feeding stations for her chocobos. He also hunted swans with Shijima without Mochi (did not boon the cat.) Also researched in the background and worked on his communication devices. Worked with the Guild when he could.
SUMMER 2701
SUMMER IN 2,701 (Jun, Jul, Aug)
- JUNE - It becomes clear that the areas the Jabberwock spent too much time in will grow nothing and have become barren; includes areas around Caer Glaem, the Cothromach, the Station, other parts of the map. Shardbearers may attempt to heal these areas.
Treun holds its famous summer tourney! The purse is 5,000 gold marks for each of these competitions: Magical Duelling, Mounted Joust, and the Melee! The competitions go over the day, featuring many famed individuals participating in secret, and the revels continue over nights. A mod post will go up for this event.
- HIRO'S JUNE PLANS- He's not going to participate in the tourney but he IS going to set up a giant betting pool for non-participants to get involved. Since a lot of his friends are also competing he will most likely spread a few rumors about the stats of the fighters to mess with the odds. His healing plans will take place in July instead. Update - post-timeskip: Betting pool still happened and he almost got his ass kicked for it. Nico di Angelo saved him and his friendship with the boy started. Also handed out communicators to his very close CR. And also found out Lemina was offering the Guild to Seelie shardbearers, got pissed, and stopped talking to her. Hiro's work with the Guild went on pause.
- JULY - Violent anti-shardbearer demonstration in Daonna results in the hanging of a dozen Seelie and Unseelie shardbearers in the city square. Whispers insist that ancient shardbearer Martin Maskmaker is behind the clever fox-masks which magically hide the identities of the killers and help them leave no trace.
- HIRO'S JULY PLANS-If Hiro gets IC word he's going to start trying to work on solving the mystery despite not having clues about the killers. However he will be spending the entire month of July traveling with Thrall into the northlands to assess the damage of the area and start trying to heal them on their own. Update - post-timeskip: Did not do anything about the anti-shardbearer demonstrations but instead spent the whole month with Thrall traveling to the northlands to heal the destruction from the jabberwock.
- AUGUST - Leathann's Festival of Lights is the second week in August, a curious local celebration timed to the arrival of fireflies which will this year mark the induction of the new Oracle; overnight the boats which comprise the Water Market all seem to have vanished, and natives float candles on the river out to sea and let paper lanterns fly, while in the distance the Tower of the Oracle glows golden through day and night.
- HIRO'S AUGUST PLANS- Depending on if he can get there, he might go down and check it out because pretty lights and fireflies and stuff. Around the 19th or so, he'll be organizing a beach trip with friends as a guise to celebrate not only his birthday (August 22nd) but also Jason Todd's (August 16th.) Update - post-timeskip: Came back from his journey with Thrall and immediately was whisked away by Nico to Leathann for the Festival of Lights. Celebrated his/Jason's birthday on August 20th. Background research. He apologized to Lemina this month as well. Guild work is still less but he's helping where he can. R&D research goes back into full-swing at the end of August.
AUTUMN 2701
FALL IN 2,701 (Sept, Oct, Nov)
- SEPTEMBER - The magical power which allows shardbearers to understand Drabbish and each other goes haywire; affected characters will be heard speaking their native tongue! All their writing, however, will still be seen as Drabbish. The annual Treun wreath festival! Harvests are very poor, but the spectacle and scope of the dancing, grain-giving, and public drunkenness are as riotously whole-hearted as ever. The festival ends in drunken bread-riots, however, and fires set in the garden district. The public calls for Fortuna to abdicate his position
- HIRO'S SEPTEMBER PLANS- Language shenanigans! Let's see how many people he no longer understands. Hiro speaks and understands English and Japanese fluently. No other plans thus-far. Update - post-timeskip: He pantomimed stuff with Wan to learn meditation methods better! He also started learning how to write and translate things in Ancient Greek for a certain present for a certain demigod. Month was spent heavily doing research and development and mostly stuck to the Spire save for his time with Wan at the Station near the end of September.
- OCTOBER - 25-30 - SAMHAIN! Sun does not rise; characters can go wherever they please; Black Shuck makes another appearance; giant party on the Cathraon. Mods will post logs for this.
- HIRO'S OCTOBER PLANS- - Samhain! Hiro's going to attend Samhain and probably get into a lot of trouble because it's a giant party. He's going to try to approach Black Shuck with Nico di Angelo and force Eren Yeager into a suit because it's hilarious. He'll probably also be easier to trick into dancing with his CR and he'll be mingling around to meet new people as well. October otherwise is completely open and planless. Update - post-timeskip: Early October he researched blood granite with Edgar, but otherwise pretty much nothing about this has changed other than the fact that approaching Shuck was a Bad Idea and he and Nico were tasked with traveling the Drabwurld to lay the dead to rest. Hiro's secrets about Nico were revealed to Loki after he stopped the fight between Nico and Lumina. Loki also gave him his first kiss to prove it was no big deal. Hiro pushed him in the face a lot. Also began planning secret clubs/safehouses with Leo Valdez and made a lot of new connections.
- NOVEMBER - Inmates from a magical island prison-colony of Leathann have escaped, and some manage to reach the mainland and begin causing havoc! The government of Leathann posts rewards for the return of these criminals, dead or alive. Many are legitimately dangerous mages and sorcerers; others are simply individuals who are debtors to the state and couldn't pay their taxes!
- HIRO'S NOVEMBER PLANS- He may try to team up with some people to go after some of the criminals but for the most part he'll be using the month of November to research High Queen Morla and complete a quest for Ariadne. Update - post-timeskip: First two weeks of November alternated between working on the quest for Ariadne and researching stuff for R&D. The end of November was spent with Lumina traveling to Spire 9's city to work with the vampires to make copies of her chocobo books.
WINTER 2701
WINTER IN 2,701/2,702 (Dec, Jan, Feb)
- DECEMBER - YULE! Giant hunting party with both courts trying to catch the White Hart! Mods will post logs for this.
- HIRO'S DECEMBER PLANS- He's going to wind up building an army of snowmen and one very special Snowmax at the Station if he can get there. Otherwise no real plans. He'll be celebrating Yule/Christmas and provide presents to a lot of his close CR. Update - post-timeskip: Haha he basically exchanged presents with people, argued with Nico until Nico agreed to take him on Shuck's task, ventured on an overnight trip with Thrall to become a tiny Frostwolf, argued with Jason about Nico and cut their ties temporarily and ditched the spire to head out. Last month he researched stuff for R&D. Last month he actively worked with the Guild.
- JANUARY - Caer Scima is at last entirely rebuilt, and grander than ever!
- HIRO'S JANUARY PLANS- Definitely going to return to CS to see how it's been rebuilt. Otherwise he's pretty quiet this month. Update - post-timeskip: Definitely did not return to CS and definitely did not remain quiet this month. Spent the month traveling and training with Nico.
- FEBRUARY -Parrais holds its Ostara Feast! A local celebration of and competition in the arts, chalks harvested from the coast are all dyed and given to local children the full week before, and the whole city is mostly covered in their murals. By the feast's end, several famous elven artisans and musicians are found with their throats slashed.
- HIRO'S FEBRUARY PLANS- He's going to end up bouncing off to Redgate with Billy Kaplan to crash in Loki's dorm and also try to break into the fancy-schmancy library. May also end up meeting a handful of the Seelie in Redgate. Update - post-timeskip: Went to Redgate with Billy to research more/bond with Billy/crash in on Loki. Billy and Loki figured out his romantic feelings toward a certain son of Hades that Hiro adamantly denied. Hiro gained access to the Redgate library for research. In addition, he traveled to Mair and met Grell who spoke with him of death, magic, and runes as she helped him with the next leg of his task for Shuck.
SPRING 2702
SPRING IN 2,702 (Mar, Apr)
- MARCH - The skeletons of unburied soldiers killed in battle begin to rise, devouring whatever living beasts or people they come upon until their skulls are struck off.
- HIRO'S MARCH PLANS- Gonna double-check that this isn't Nico's work and then use a combination of magic and other skills to kill the skeletons. Update - post-timeskip: Rejoined Nico! This probably was tied into their initial task anyway. Also met Jason again at the end of the month and it went as poorly as one would expect. Jason told Hiro how to fix it ("come home", basically) and Hiro shied away from the idea.
- APRIL - Great numbers of imps and fairies begin to go missing in both castles, to the point where many everyday tasks go unfinished!
- HIRO'S APRIL PLANS- Start devising ways to accomplish the daily tasks with inventions while hunting for the missing imps. Update - post-timeskip: He's lost Jason and it's that time of year again. During Yule he set up a meeting with Joshua on the anniversary of the harp-smashing so they could chat and review everything wrong with the world. He also had a friend-date with Merida where the same sort of things were discussed. Lastly, he received a quest from the Unseelie monarchs just as he was getting ready to go find Jason to apologize one last time.
- MAY - End of timeskip.
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zerotohiro) wrote2014-01-31 08:35 pm
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Dude let go. [Being almost eye-level with Jason means kicking his feet wildly to try and get back to the ground and pushing at Jason's chest.] That is the truth!
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Jason doesn't let go.]
I want the damn truth. When you're ready to tell it, then I drop your ass.
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What do you want me to say? I just told you I had stuff to do last month and that's the truth. [The level of his voice is rising though and even while he wants to sound intimidating all he's really doing is starting to sound a little desperate.]
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And you never ask, but if you missed the memo, people want you dead. You're a moving target and you're being a damn idiot about it.
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Screw thinking right now.]
I don't care! [Whether he means that he's being vague or because he's a moving target he won't specify and that...says quite a bit about where his head's at. He pushes himself up into his knees but he keeps himself in a bowed position facing the ground.]
I can't...do this, too. [Too. Still not specifying what else there is but its a start. It's debatable if his shoulders are shaking because of the strain of holding his body up or because he's upset but he's staying down] Just stop. I can't do this.
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At least, he doesn't apologize yet.]
Not the first time you've heard this?
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You already know the answer to that. [Jason doesn't know anything, but he's not an idiot. Hiro knows that. Hiro also knows that Jason wouldn't be asking something like that if he didn't have a suspicion.] Usually it's "you're gonna get yourself arrested" instead of "you're gonna end up dead", but who's counting? Back home it just meant making a better plan and finding a way around the problem so I didn't get arrested again, and here it just means doing the same thing so I don't end up dead.
[He should stop there, but now that he's started it's a little harder to stop. He already explained that much of the story. May as well come clean with some of the other things.]
I had to find a way to smash the harp on my own. Nothing was working for a long time and even after it was destroyed I...[...there's a deep breath. Well. Goodbye, bravado. Goodbye, trying to prove to Jason he's an adult. He knows the minute he says the next sentence he's losing all credibility and proving exactly what Jason's probably thought all along. He's too much of a kid to handle things. He's too weak. He can't do anything in this world. Whatever the assumption, the answer's still the same.]
The harp stopped but the nightmares didn't. So I had to figure out how to fix everything. Things are still missing and broken and I can't do anything about it and it took me a whole month to figure out that there are things I can never fix, but I can't stop trying even if it's getting worse. I don't have answers though. Nothing I'm doing is making it better. And then I saw all of your messages and I had to make sure you were okay, so...I left. I had to make sure you were okay because I can't lose anybody else. [If he's aware he's repeating himself he's not saying so. It's important that Jason knows what it means to him that he's not dead. Even after the words leave his mouth he realizes that it probably sounds overdramatic, but at the time? There was absolutely nothing but kind of a blind ambition behind his actions. He knows Jason's died once before. He's not letting it happen again.] ...that's the truth. That's what you wanted to hear, and now you know the truth.
[He braces himself for whatever Jason might have, mentally prepping himself for a few snide remarks or just another jab at the fact that he's not living up to his name or he's being an idiot or something. Anything. But it's out in the open now and he can't take it back.]
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After all, Jason knows a lot about being unable to fix something. He was unable to help his mother fix their home situation after his father vanished, and he was unable to fix her health as she slowly withered away and died. He was unable to fix the world with Bruce, and he was unable to fix himself, turning himself into a better Robin. Now, he's even more unable to make himself into something different—something better. Unlike that picture of that boy named Tim Drake, he doesn't smile with a light in his eyes, well aware of only the darkness that clouds all of his actions.
He may be utterly convinced that he knows better, but he had his own harp experience last month. He remembers being so caught up in a delusion that he couldn't realize the false nature of it until he he had already started hurting Loki. Those doubts won't help Jason much, but he also knows they'll ground him. He has to let them seep in and keep himself from being lost in another delusion. Maybe the doubts will be the key to fixing him.
But they won't help Hiro. Jason may not be able to help anything within his reach, but Hiro's always remained just outside of it, hasn't he?]
I need more details, [he finally says.] How many times were you arrested? Who lectured you? Did this happen before or after the hero gig?
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But he's talking.]
Just once. It's not a big deal, I just got caught before I could get away that time. [Okay. This is it. It's a shaky little breath but he can push through it as long as he doesn't look at him.] Tadashi used to lecture me all the time about how bot-fighting was illegal and about how I needed to use my head more for something useful instead of scamming people out of money. I gotta give him credit, he was always really, really good at tricking me into things. He--I mean he used to let me think I was making my own choices. That I was winning. Not true. [There's a short, choked kind of laugh.] Right after we got out of jail I was already looking up the next bot fight to bet on and Tadashi…I really thought he was going to just let me go. He took me to his college campus instead because he knew better. Tadashi always knew better. [The longer he speaks, the more it becomes clear just how much he admires his older brother even now.] It's been that way since we were kids. Mom and Dad died when I was 3 but Tadashi was old enough that he remembered everything. We have Aunt Cass but it's always been Tadashi that…["Kept me safe."] Anyway, this was before the hero thing. Before that, I was just working on a project to get me into SFIT.
[A lull.] Tadashi was the reason for the hero thing though. I finally listened and used my brain for something else and created this really cool invention. My microbots? I don't know if I've told you about those. [He knows he hasn't.] They were supposed to change everything and they did at first. They were enough to get me into SFIT and everything. But then there was a fire and everything burned up. The microbots were destroyed, and Professor Callaghan was still inside and Tadashi…[Shit.] Knucklehead. So convinced somebody had to help and that that someone had to be him no matter what. …the building exploded right after he went inside. ["And I watched it burn."]
Later we found out that the microbots actually weren't destroyed and somebody was making more. For a while we thought it was Alistair Krei. He's the head of Krei Tech and he wanted to buy my microbots but I said no. Anyway, I had to fix what I started and I had to stop everything before it got worse, so…I recruited my friends and Baymax to help me catch the guy in the mask. I made them their armor and wrote new coding for Baymax and everything. [A beat.] I didn't do this to be a hero. That was never what I thought my life would be, but I had to stop the guy in the mask. Turned out to be Callaghan. He didn't even care about what happened to Tadashi. He said it was Tadashi's own mistake for running in after him to try and save him. [And even now judging by the way his voice cracks it still hurts. That's the only sign that he's struggling to keep talking though. He looks up again, making sure Jason's listening.] I almost killed him. I asked Baymax to destroy him…my friends stopped us though. I...I was really, really mad that they stopped us. They just let Callaghan get away from me when I had him right where I wanted him. It would have been so easy to just destroy him and let him die the way he let Tadashi die.
It took a while to understand, but I realized I can't kill people. Tadashi wouldn't want that. Tadashi...Tadashi only wanted to help people. He wanted to heal people and save the whole world. That was who Tadashi was and maybe I'm not like him, but I had to try and fix the mistakes I'd made but in a different way. Callaghan didn't care about anything but getting revenge and I couldn't let that happen. And even though he was a bad person, I couldn't let him lose his daughter when Baymax and I found her inside the portal. [Back down to his lap again.] Even if it meant losing Baymax, too.
[That's where he chooses to stop. It's a lot of information to take in, and he hopes Jason understands enough to either ask the right questions or just draw his own conclusions. He'll elaborate who Baymax is in a little bit. He had to talk about Tadashi first.]
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Of course, that desire is waning. He's changing, and the plan for home is evolving. It's evolving even now. The wheels in Jason's head are turning. But he can't focus on that. He can't get lost in the moment, in the parallels and the fucked up road of his life.
He can't.
He has to focus.
He has to focus on the fact that Hiro has a brother who died in an explosion just like him. He has a brother who died saving someone who was screwed up, but it was still a good thing. Hiro had been inspired by that, and what had happened to Bruce? What had happened with Bruce? Bruce hadn't cared. Bruce hadn't been changed by his death, even if Talia once spouted pretty words to him
Focus.
Focus, he has to focus. His throat feels tight and uncertain, and he looks down at Hiro and wants to run away, wants to come up with a better, more competent plan to deal with this whole mess.
But he can't.
He pants out a breath, and then he breathes in. Out. In. Out. Focus. His hands are curled into fists.
He's focusing.]
What—[he begins and stops almost immediately. Breathe.]
What does that have to do with last month, Hiro?
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Last month was April. [Okay, and?] ...Tadashi's only been gone for maybe a month and a half back home. It's May there. [Aprils are going to be hard for the rest of his life, but hopefully it won't be the entire month by this time next year. He knows it's only because of the harps feeding on his emotions and enhancing them, forcing him to face everything. That doesn't mean he has to like it.] And it was only a couple of days back home since Baymax was destroyed before I got here. But they allowed me to bring part of him with me.
[The robot arm that he clung to initially.] But I can't fix him. I can't rebuild him. There aren't enough pieces and even with all of Tadashi's notes I can't bring Baymax back and I can't bring Tadashi back.
...like I said, I was busy. I had stuff to do and stuff's still broken. Magic can't fix it. Technology can't fix it. What am I supposed to do, Jason? [It's debatable if it's a real question.] I'll think of something, but nothing's worked so far. So...sorry, but I had to really focus. [Or quietly mourn in the only way he really knows how to at this point. Throw himself into project after project.]
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You're trying to fix your messes back home, but you can't. That isn't why we're here. [Though as much as Jason would like to compartmentalize the two modes of existence—here and back home—he can't. He knows that no matter what he tries, he will still be different coming out on the other end of the Drabwurld. But some things can't be helped.]
We're here to make sure that we can fix the shit we left behind. It's as simple as that.
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You and Loki know exactly why you're here and what you can do and what you can do here and you…you keep telling me everything I can't do. I can't fight, I can't use magic, I can't make my own decisions, whatever. This is what I know I can do and you're still telling me I can't.
[Give him a moment, and he's suddenly shifting to get back to his feet.] I knew you wouldn't understand. So I didn't tell you. [Baymax's chip is slipping back into his pocket and his hand comes up to just flick at the zipper of his sweater. It was easier to talk to Loki and Lemina about these things. Jason…it's exactly as he thought. It's awkward. It sucks. He doesn't know how to properly articulate why this is so important and Jason's right in a sense, but Hiro wants to be right, too. As far as he's concerned, he is right.] Are we done here? I wanna get a little further before I stop tonight.
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[His voice is sharp and quick. He states all of that in what would almost be a breath, only pausing briefly in the middle of it to catch his breath before he goes on with the same force and intensity as before.]
You don't think I understand dying? You don't think I understand the aftermath of that, Hiro? Who do you think you're talking to?
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No. Was he being selfish? Was he really being that narrow-minded that he was so fixated on doing everything himself without really listening?
Probably.
He takes a deep breath, arms looping around to fold over his chest before he bows his head.]
...I'm sorry. [He's not going as far as to say "you're right" but they both know they're thinking such. Hiro's been working himself to the bone because he can't be a hero. Because Jason's right, he can't deal. And how stupid was he to just keep throwing himself in without knowing the extent of everything he's working on? Pretty stupid. He bites his lip briefly before he offers another shrug.]
Let me ask you something though, Jason. If I'd told you all of this when we first met, what would you have said?
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Does it matter? You didn't. We're here now. Difference is, when all the shitty things happened to me as a kid? The shitty things that still didn't keep me from dying? [He finally says it outright this time. If there was any doubt, it's gone now.]
I learned. I adapted. I survived. You don't use your head either way. We both had a lot to prove, but there's only one way that ends. Remember when you said you wouldn't be me? Well, you're doing a damn good job of doing the exact opposite.
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I use my head for pretty much all of the wrong reasons. [He's allowing himself time to really digest all of that, thinking about what he's experienced in the last month and also the things Jason's always said to him from the first moment they met.] I'm in college now. I use my head to make projects. I think around problems to solve them. My idea for "apprehending" the guy responsible for Tadashi's death was to become a team of superheroes. It's a wrong kind of adaption. I've never had to do something like this, but you know that. This isn't a death wish, this is just...I don't know. [He runs a hand through the front of his hair, leaving his palm pressed to his face.]
You're one of the only people who's ever told me I can't do something in my entire life. I guess I just didn't want to admit you were maybe sort of right. I'm not like Tadashi. And I didn't think I'd end up being like what you were. Are? [He...may or may not actually be talking to Jason at this point but instead musing out loud.] Loki said I don't have to do anything in a way that somebody else tells me and...I kinda got carried away with not-listening and trying to make everything work the way I wanted it to. Kinda funny that it's true what they say. You can't always get what you want.
[There's a pause...and he peers at Jason from behind his fingers.] So...how do I fix this?
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Without the truth, without the big picture, he won't understand.
The mention of Loki saying that Hiro could do anything he wanted (essentially) is a point of frustration. They'll have to talk later. Of course, the ease with which that'll happen is almost nonexistent, much to his frustration. How will they find Loki now? The damn lockets don't even work anymore.]
First: you can't listen to what a god says, or twist what he says to your purposes. I already told you that that's unreasonable. Don't just pick and choose. How he survives won't be how we survive. [He needs that to be clear. He already said it, and for some reason, Hiro just dismissed what he had to say.
Will he do it again? Only time will tell.]
Secondly, my story doesn't begin with my death. A whole lot happened before that. But before I waste my breath telling you about it, I need to know you're going to listen.
Are you?
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Instinctually his hackles raise a bit and he already has an argument on the tip of his tongue.] I'm not twisting anything. It's still something to think about. [Is it unreasonable…? Yeah, okay, perhaps so. He'd originally dismissed it when Jason brought it up the first time because he'd been so sure he was just doing it to be a jackass. But now thinking back to the harp and thinking back to what Loki's been teaching him? How easily things come to the god and not to him? It's a valid point.
That isn't to say Jason's point is entirely right either, but maybe it was finally time to start listening to him.
He has to. If he's going to figure this out and he's going to survive? He has to. Very slowly he catches Jason's eye again to make sure he knows he's serious before nodding.]
…but yeah. I think I'm ready. Out here, or...?
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Of course, that would be too telling.]
So, I need you to agree to that. Before I start. No picking and choosing just because it's convenient to the selfish crap Hiro wants to do. Because selfishness is what has your head on a block. If I walked away from you right now? You'd be dead.
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...well. Because he's selfish. He was focused solely on what he wanted to do and firmly believed he would have been fine. Stupid. For as logical as he is, sometimes he lets his heart drive way too much. There's a heavy sigh following, but he nods again.]
Fine. Fine, I'll stop using what Loki says as a valid argument. [For now at least. He'll always listen to Loki but he'll just have to get better about what is and isn't applicable to them. But let's be honest, sometimes Loki hardly acted like a real god. The difference though is that Jason's seen what Loki can take. Hiro's only seen him pulling an arrow out of his body which he also saw Lemina do. Jason has a broader scope of things.] Okay?
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But maybe he'll curb his weird masochism after all of this.]
I'm not going to spin you some tale about Ragnarok. I don't have anything like that. I grew up the kid of two people who weren't doing so hot. One was a hardened criminal, and he got killed because he screwed up in the business. The other was into drugs. The drugs took their wear on her body and she died. As it turns out, she hadn't been my biological mother, but she was mom. [He shrugs, trying to act calm about it. Come to think of it, he's never explained this to Bruce. Somehow, the man just knew. Jason figures he looked into it.]
After my dad left and mom had her drug problems, I fended for both of us. And I kept at it even after she died. I was homeless. I lived in the worst part of the city. And I survived in a way that no kid could. Ending up ... with some hero, someone who'd train me. In a way, it was dumb luck, but that's my life. I knew how to outsmart people. I knew the best things to sell. I was sharp, even with just a fifth grade education.
And when I look at you? [He motions to him with a ... really condescending motion. His arm just waves forward like he's waving him away.]
You're an idiot who'd die in one day in Crime Alley. You'd be a laughing stock. A cautionary tale. But because you're some kid genius, you think you got it all figured out. Sounds like this Tadashi guy's the one who actually did.
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The sad thing is that the story doesn't even surprise him in the slightest. Does it worry him? Sure, maybe a little. Is he going to tell Jason that? Absolutely not. It doesn't take long for the message to sink in though. Jason was smart in literally every single way Hiro wasn't, and he was more likely to survive here than Hiro himself because of it. Maybe he should be more grateful that Aunt Cass took the brothers in. Maybe he should be grateful Tadashi saved his skin literally all the time.
That gesture only causes him to look at his feet again, shoulders hunching in shame even as he listens. He doesn't address any of that. Not yet.]
Tadashi usually knew exactly what to do, yeah. We didn't grow up on the streets or anything and he wasn't a bot fighter but he always knew where I was. [A shrug.] I...never really had to fight, I guess. [Tadashi always rescued him. Always. His brother was protective of him and Hiro is suddenly now aware that that was part of the problem]
Even my friends back home backed me up so I wasn't fighting my own fights. I get it, Jason. You survived because you had to and you got better. ["And I'm still trying to figure it all out." What a way to learn that he's not nearly as independent as he thought. He always had people watching after him whether he realized in consciously or no. Jason didn't.]
So...what happened after you joined the hero?
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Anyway ... I went on to train. [It's more complicated than that, but Jason isn't going to spell out all of it. The psychological complications compounded the living situation complications, but he learned.] I had to pick up about four years of education to catch up, and then some. I had to be at about a high school graduate level before I even hit the streets. I became his sidekick. The second of them, actually, taking up the name Robin. [He's careful with his words. He doesn't want to sound too attached, but at the same time, he sounds utterly ... removed from it.]
I was crap at it. [This is bias. His voice maintains that detachment, but it sounds ... forced.] I nearly killed people. I didn't believe ... in some weird antiquated sense of right and wrong. I saw monsters screwing over everyone, and I was supposed to just swallow that it we would just lock them away and hope they never got out. [His voice shakes here. Remaining detached is too hard.]
After I nearly killed a guy or three, I got benched. [Nearly. In one case, he regrets not doing it.] I set off to find something to live for that wasn't that, and I found out about my actual mom. Turns out she was alive somewhere, so ... I found her. But nothing ends well. Finding her killed me. I died covering her body with my own from a blast. [At this point, he's staring upward at the sky.]
Don't know how I came back. Don't have much of a story beyond training after that. But I played hero and thought I could do anything, and it didn't work.
Like I said, I was crap.
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Not that it matters though. What matters is the fact that the evidence is right in front of his face. Jason's managed to dig himself into this world and adapt enough to make people fear and respect him and make it known he wasn't going to go down that easily.
The nice thing about Jason finally telling him this story is that Hiro has zero room to argue or interrupt, and actually zero desire to do either thing. There's a small murmur of "Robin" under his breath like he's making the name sink in. There's the question of "what happened to the first Robin?" but he doesn't ask. He recognizes that if he blows this now he's never getting another chance to learn. Jason's almost robotic in the storytelling as it is.
Strangely (and perhaps a bit scarily) he could totally see that. Knowing who Jason is now and learning what he used to be and how he started out, he can see how the pieces fell into place. Even moreso, he can draw his own connections and he doesn't realize that he's practically holding his breath as he drinks in every word. This...this is why Jason doesn't believe in heroes. It makes so much sense.
And this couldn't have been long ago. Jason's not that old (he thinks. He's never actually asked the guy for his age before) and the memories are too fresh for this to have been more than a few years. It's a typical origin story as Fred would say, but it's an origin story gone wrong. It's the origin story of a hero who started on a bumpy path, fell from grace and had to find another way out.
And in the end? Jason still ended up sacrificing himself anyway. And that just sort of really, really doesn't sit well with him.]
And if I keep doing what I'm doing you think I'm going to end up like you. [Well he can certainly see why. Play the hero, pretend you can do anything and everything, get screwed and die anyway.
He doesn't even realize the fact that his fist is clenching the inside pocket of his sweater and he shakes his head.]
...I think I need to tell you some things about home. [It's a test, just like everything else. He's trying to understand and he's trying to really listen, but it gets complicated when mixed with his own conflicting thoughts and emotions and memories and suddenly wondering what would have happened if he didn't have his own "benched" moment. There's still one more thing though and it's like he's forgotten he's just admitted there's more to his own story. After all, Jason's isn't done yet.]
If you're not a hero anymore, what are you training for back there?
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