I mean...he's not here. And he was already gone when I woke up, and he won't really look at me right now so...[About as well as one can expect.] He tried to pull a weapon on me, too, because he didn't believe it was really me. Said that the real Hiro Hamada wouldn't try to kill somebody.
He's probably right. [It's definitely bothering him still days later.] I didn't get the chance to tell him everything else because it didn't seem like the right time to try. I never wanted him to find out like this.
I know. [How could anyone want someone important to them to find out this way? It's only...to be expected, really.] But... you're you, you know? "The real Hiro Hamada" is you... no matter what.
[So this nonsense of what he would or wouldn't do... it's silly, Ruby thinks.]
Because people do things sometimes that seem like good ideas, or what they have to do, and then they learn that they're not and they grow and they change, but they're still them.
You've always been Hiro, and... Hiro's who I like--a lot--so...I don't really know what I'm trying to say here but... [She doesn't like the "He's probably right" that was tacked on there.]
[He doesn't say anything at first. He turns to face her, peering closely and leaning in until they're practically nose to nose as he simply looks at her and allows himself to really think on that.
Is that true? Is it true that he's still himself even when he's not acting like himself? More than anything he's aware of the shame and guilt that's usually associated with the fact he tried to kill someone, not to mention the anger that nothing changed and his own cacophony of other emotions tied to Tadashi and his death. Cerealia's had a way of messing things up for the two of them and yet Ruby makes sense. People do things that seem like good ideas. Tadashi ran into a fire because it seemed like a good idea, the thing he had to do. Hiro tried to avenge him because it seemed like a good idea, the thing he had to do. But of course one is more acceptable than the other.
So. He doesn't quite believe her but there's a strong sense of relief that she believes him and he drops his gaze and just sort of pushes his forehead against hers and stares down at their intertwined arms and hands.]
Don't be upset if I don't believe all of that right away, okay? I'm working on it. [There's a twitch of his lips like he's trying to grin but it's not working too well.] You'd think we'd have solved all of this by now. It's been months. [But then again, he supposes nobody thought they'd see Tadashi ever again and have to deal with the consequences.] ...it's stupid, but I just want him to know that even with all of that I'm still trying to make things right and I'm still trying to help people like he wanted. And now I'm not even sure he wants to listen to the rest of the story.
Have I ever mentioned Cerealia really, really sucks sometimes? Maybe I should ask Dipper more about his memory-erasing gun.
[Their faces are really close like this, but she doesn't flinch back when he looks at her like that. Instead, she meets his eyes, expression calm and certain. Much like with Tadashi, she knows that Hiro needs someone certain right now, someone who knows for sure. She doesn't know everything, of course--there are a lot of things she doesn't know. But she knows enough that she thinks she can be here for Hiro, and have faith in him.
At least until he can have more faith in himself.]
It's okay. [That he doesn't believe it all yet--that it might take a long time before he does.] That's what I'm here for. I'll just...believe in it until you do.
[His attempt at a smile falls flat, but hers doesn't; she smiles at him, and doesn't pull away.] I believe in you, so it's easy to believe in this too.
And... I know it has to be really hard, and it's probably impossible to know what to say, but... he's still your brother. He's your family! So... someday he'll wanna hear the rest of the story.
[She nudges him gently, still smiling, foreheads still pressed together.]
So no memory-erasing, okay? Then we'd just be back to the start!
[Confronting how he feels about things still scares him, truth be told. It makes him uncomfortable and it's hard to grasp and though he's getting better at understanding and interpreting his own emotions properly and expressing them in ways that make sense, he still doesn't like to dwell on them.
This is enough. Ruby believing is enough. Ruby being certain is enough.
Maybe someday Tadashi will hear the rest. Until then, he'll work on other parts. Believing things will be okay.
Still, he nudges right back and there's finally a true grin and a small bit of laughter at that.]
Like I could ever forget you, memory-eraser or not. Ever if I didn't remember though, we'd still be bonded and stuff. Hard to stay away from someone you feel like you're supposed to be with. [There's a thoughtful hum even as he allows his eyes to shut slightly. He's still a little tired. It's been a long day already and it's only just begun.] I'm really glad you're here. And I'm going to find a way that I'll always remember you. So...don't worry about that.
[That's... well, that's almost too much, really. But in a good way--she feels a little like she's going to melt into a puddle and wants to sink into a hole and wants to stay right here and never move, all at once. It's really a strange feeling, but--]
Hiro...
[That's...]
... That's really sappy.
[She grins then, relaxing as well; his eyes are closed and he finally seems to be feeling slightly better. Nothing's really resolved yet, but...sometimes just feeling better for a little bit is enough.]
True! But sappy. [But it'd be a lie to say that she doesn't like it even so, and that she totally feels the same way.]
[!!!] Ugh, come on, don't say that! [He cracks open an eye, lips curled into a playful sort of smirk because he's absolutely aware that it was sappy and gross but that she feels the same way. It's much easier now to just take it for that instead of questioning if Ruby feels the way he does. He scrunches up his face though, pulling away to look at her with a look of mock-offense.] You're going to destroy every bit of manliness I have by saying stuff like that.
[There's a meow from behind him and he tilts his head back, spotting Mochi clawing his way up onto the couch and making a direct beeline for Ruby.] See? Even Mochi agrees with me. [More like Mochi's jumping down onto the couch to wiggle his way between the two of them and purr alarmingly loudly, headbutting directly into Ruby's hand.]
Traitor. [The cat blinks inquisitively before chirping. Hiro rolls his eyes before he leans back into the couch, glancing at Ruby again.] Anyway...let's do something more fun. I was at work a few days before we were all dragged to that city and found a video game I wanna try, but it takes two people. Up for a challenge?
Sorry, sorry...! [Between giggles... look, your manliness is never safe around Ruby Rose, She Who Wears Battle Skirts. But kitty cats are far more important than most things, so Ruby's not going to hesitate to pet Mochi cheerfully, grinning at Hiro in response.]
Maybe I just pet cats better. I'm an expert cat petter, you know. [CLEARLY THIS IS WHAT IT IS...] But yeah, I'm down! Uncle Qrow and I play video games aaaaaall the time but he never lets me win so I'm sure I can do this!
[He shakes his head slowly, trying to appear menacing and it's not exactly working for him. Still, Mochi's happy as can be and Hiro's just shoving the cat a little so his fat butt isn't sprawled all over his lap.]
Yeah, sure. At least Zwei likes me enough. Just be careful, I already told you Mochi will probably keep you here for hours if you let him.
[Uh huh. Sure. "Mochi." But he grins and he sits up, carefully getting off the couch and shuffling forward to set up the game system and the game.] I'm glad you've got some experience losing though. It'll make me feel less bad when I beat you.
[This is fine. They're going to just be in for a nice afternoon of quasi-cuddling in a blanket-nest with video games and pizza and pretend nothing else is wrong. And in a way, nothing is wrong. The knot in his chest's loosened a bit and having Ruby here to rely on makes it easier to breathe. So he flops back on the couch and hands her a controller.]
Tadashi and I are both recovering, but we should bug them again about a match between the four of us. I'm just saying.
[Happy cat, happy girl, everybody's totally fine even if Hiro's not convinced Ruby will win. The start screen fires up as a giant gloved hand floats across the screen and kicks into the character selection screen. Hiro's already moving to pick a small blond elf-like character dressed in green with a sword and shield.]
If that makes you feel better, sure. We'll go with Qrow cheating. [He smirks.] I bet I could beat him, too.
[But the idea of beating their siblings is even better and he nods enthusiastically. Okay, maybe a little too much because his head still kinda hurts and he winces slightly.] They don't stand a chance. I haven't had a chance to look at what games are still offered in ViViD but we need one that even gives us the chance to break up into teams. I mean I could probably program one but that'll take longer.
Uncle Qrow's gonna kick your butt if he ever shows up here.
[It's just...said so solemnly. At video games and maybe also not at video games??? She's not sure, Uncle Qrow kind of picks fights with whoever he feels like.
It's so cool--
Ahem.
Focus, Ruby. She'll pick the person with the biggest sword naturally. He's got a lot of muscles, this is fine. Now they are ready.]
I'm sure there's gotta be something. I mean, CERES is always making new games, right? Awful games, but still. We just have to find something that lets up play two on two!
[Ruby please don't throw your boyfriend to the wolves like that. Qrow could easily kick his butt in just about anything. Still, he wants to meet the man someday all the same.
With Ruby's avatar picked, Hiro's busy choosing a randomized map and eyeballing the characters again. The guy has a huge sword and muscles, but Hiro's guy has speed on his side. He can win this.]
Not all of them are awful, I think. I've played a couple of games by myself to train and earn extra money and I've made it out fine so far. [It's a somewhat morbid joke, but still.] I'll do some research later and see what I can find. [And from the screen there's the countdown of 3...2...1...go! Time to smash.]
[A little morbid, but it's the same sort of joke Ruby and her friends would make, so she seems effectively unbothered by it. She just acknowledges that with a hum and a nod and a quiet:] I like the ones that let you train against all sorts of monsters.
[And then the countdown is going down and Ruby clutches her controller and launches her brawny fighter into battle, because there is no love in versus video games, there is only death and woe.
She's definitely not going to hold back at all, that's for sure.]
You would. [But that's all he says. It's video-game-and-girlfriend-chill time now. So what if he occasionally nudges her to try and throw her off her game or sends his avatar darting across the screen to throw bombs at Ruby's character? This is totally, completely fair.
And the best part...he's sort of forgotten the whole reason he woke up sad this morning. Thank you, Ruby Rose. You are perhaps the best person ever. And this can probably be wrapped!]
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He's probably right. [It's definitely bothering him still days later.] I didn't get the chance to tell him everything else because it didn't seem like the right time to try. I never wanted him to find out like this.
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I know. [How could anyone want someone important to them to find out this way? It's only...to be expected, really.] But... you're you, you know? "The real Hiro Hamada" is you... no matter what.
[So this nonsense of what he would or wouldn't do... it's silly, Ruby thinks.]
Because people do things sometimes that seem like good ideas, or what they have to do, and then they learn that they're not and they grow and they change, but they're still them.
You've always been Hiro, and... Hiro's who I like--a lot--so...I don't really know what I'm trying to say here but... [She doesn't like the "He's probably right" that was tacked on there.]
That's what I think.
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Is that true? Is it true that he's still himself even when he's not acting like himself? More than anything he's aware of the shame and guilt that's usually associated with the fact he tried to kill someone, not to mention the anger that nothing changed and his own cacophony of other emotions tied to Tadashi and his death. Cerealia's had a way of messing things up for the two of them and yet Ruby makes sense. People do things that seem like good ideas. Tadashi ran into a fire because it seemed like a good idea, the thing he had to do. Hiro tried to avenge him because it seemed like a good idea, the thing he had to do. But of course one is more acceptable than the other.
So. He doesn't quite believe her but there's a strong sense of relief that she believes him and he drops his gaze and just sort of pushes his forehead against hers and stares down at their intertwined arms and hands.]
Don't be upset if I don't believe all of that right away, okay? I'm working on it. [There's a twitch of his lips like he's trying to grin but it's not working too well.] You'd think we'd have solved all of this by now. It's been months. [But then again, he supposes nobody thought they'd see Tadashi ever again and have to deal with the consequences.] ...it's stupid, but I just want him to know that even with all of that I'm still trying to make things right and I'm still trying to help people like he wanted. And now I'm not even sure he wants to listen to the rest of the story.
Have I ever mentioned Cerealia really, really sucks sometimes? Maybe I should ask Dipper more about his memory-erasing gun.
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At least until he can have more faith in himself.]
It's okay. [That he doesn't believe it all yet--that it might take a long time before he does.] That's what I'm here for. I'll just...believe in it until you do.
[His attempt at a smile falls flat, but hers doesn't; she smiles at him, and doesn't pull away.] I believe in you, so it's easy to believe in this too.
And... I know it has to be really hard, and it's probably impossible to know what to say, but... he's still your brother. He's your family! So... someday he'll wanna hear the rest of the story.
[She nudges him gently, still smiling, foreheads still pressed together.]
So no memory-erasing, okay? Then we'd just be back to the start!
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This is enough. Ruby believing is enough. Ruby being certain is enough.
Maybe someday Tadashi will hear the rest. Until then, he'll work on other parts. Believing things will be okay.
Still, he nudges right back and there's finally a true grin and a small bit of laughter at that.]
Like I could ever forget you, memory-eraser or not. Ever if I didn't remember though, we'd still be bonded and stuff. Hard to stay away from someone you feel like you're supposed to be with. [There's a thoughtful hum even as he allows his eyes to shut slightly. He's still a little tired. It's been a long day already and it's only just begun.] I'm really glad you're here. And I'm going to find a way that I'll always remember you. So...don't worry about that.
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Hiro...
[That's...]
... That's really sappy.
[She grins then, relaxing as well; his eyes are closed and he finally seems to be feeling slightly better. Nothing's really resolved yet, but...sometimes just feeling better for a little bit is enough.]
True! But sappy. [But it'd be a lie to say that she doesn't like it even so, and that she totally feels the same way.]
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[There's a meow from behind him and he tilts his head back, spotting Mochi clawing his way up onto the couch and making a direct beeline for Ruby.] See? Even Mochi agrees with me. [More like Mochi's jumping down onto the couch to wiggle his way between the two of them and purr alarmingly loudly, headbutting directly into Ruby's hand.]
Traitor. [The cat blinks inquisitively before chirping. Hiro rolls his eyes before he leans back into the couch, glancing at Ruby again.] Anyway...let's do something more fun. I was at work a few days before we were all dragged to that city and found a video game I wanna try, but it takes two people. Up for a challenge?
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Sorry, sorry...! [Between giggles... look, your manliness is never safe around Ruby Rose, She Who Wears Battle Skirts. But kitty cats are far more important than most things, so Ruby's not going to hesitate to pet Mochi cheerfully, grinning at Hiro in response.]
Maybe I just pet cats better. I'm an expert cat petter, you know. [CLEARLY THIS IS WHAT IT IS...] But yeah, I'm down! Uncle Qrow and I play video games aaaaaall the time but he never lets me win so I'm sure I can do this!
Bring it on!
[Lame nerds.]
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Yeah, sure. At least Zwei likes me enough. Just be careful, I already told you Mochi will probably keep you here for hours if you let him.
[Uh huh. Sure. "Mochi." But he grins and he sits up, carefully getting off the couch and shuffling forward to set up the game system and the game.] I'm glad you've got some experience losing though. It'll make me feel less bad when I beat you.
[This is fine. They're going to just be in for a nice afternoon of quasi-cuddling in a blanket-nest with video games and pizza and pretend nothing else is wrong. And in a way, nothing is wrong. The knot in his chest's loosened a bit and having Ruby here to rely on makes it easier to breathe. So he flops back on the couch and hands her a controller.]
Tadashi and I are both recovering, but we should bug them again about a match between the four of us. I'm just saying.
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[She heard that, and she doesn't look impressed, even as she cuddles Mochi closer because why wouldn't she... he's cute...]
Anyway, I'm not going anywhere, so Mochi can be happy and I'm gonna win.
[That's Ruby Rose's challenge, and she refuses to let this pass without the best fight she can muster up.]
Uncle Qrow just is unfair. I think he cheat. Somehow. But I'm good at video games otherwise so I'm not gonna let you beat me!
[... Oh, right, the match. She grins.]
But yeah, we should. Because if we're both this good at games, we'll totally win in our match against them, too.
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If that makes you feel better, sure. We'll go with Qrow cheating. [He smirks.] I bet I could beat him, too.
[But the idea of beating their siblings is even better and he nods enthusiastically. Okay, maybe a little too much because his head still kinda hurts and he winces slightly.] They don't stand a chance. I haven't had a chance to look at what games are still offered in ViViD but we need one that even gives us the chance to break up into teams. I mean I could probably program one but that'll take longer.
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[It's just...said so solemnly. At video games and maybe also not at video games??? She's not sure, Uncle Qrow kind of picks fights with whoever he feels like.
It's so cool--
Ahem.
Focus, Ruby. She'll pick the person with the biggest sword naturally. He's got a lot of muscles, this is fine. Now they are ready.]
I'm sure there's gotta be something. I mean, CERES is always making new games, right? Awful games, but still. We just have to find something that lets up play two on two!
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With Ruby's avatar picked, Hiro's busy choosing a randomized map and eyeballing the characters again. The guy has a huge sword and muscles, but Hiro's guy has speed on his side. He can win this.]
Not all of them are awful, I think. I've played a couple of games by myself to train and earn extra money and I've made it out fine so far. [It's a somewhat morbid joke, but still.] I'll do some research later and see what I can find. [And from the screen there's the countdown of 3...2...1...go! Time to smash.]
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[And then the countdown is going down and Ruby clutches her controller and launches her brawny fighter into battle, because there is no love in versus video games, there is only death and woe.
She's definitely not going to hold back at all, that's for sure.]
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And the best part...he's sort of forgotten the whole reason he woke up sad this morning. Thank you, Ruby Rose. You are perhaps the best person ever.
And this can probably be wrapped!]