BREAKDOWN
PLANSBreakdown of things I hope to accomplish at various points in the year:
✖ I'm hoping to use this timeskip to develop Hiro's CR and also have him get involved in the Unseelie aspect of the Drabwurld, specifically trying to get involved with the R&D department that Saber's setting up. Update - post-timeskip: busy with R&D stuff from April until about Yule, then disappeared to fulfill the task given by Black Shuck.
✖ I want him to help with the spire projects (specifically spire 10 thanks to his quest) and also spend a lot of time at the Station, building technology that will work outside of the station that he can sell for profit/possibly be building things for Lumina's chocobo ranch. (Also building cat toys for Shijima. This is important.) Update - post-timeskip: the team of natives and sorcerers Hiro recruited during his quest helped finish Spire 10 and he spent very little time at the Station during timeskip. He built a few things for Lumina and Shijima.
✖ He'll also be building up his magical ability by acting as Lemina's Junior Premier, learning how to control his magic and also recruiting for her. He's going to spend a lot of time to effectively wield his magic. Going to learn how to use his crossbow too. Also depending, he may be learning some mild sorcery from Loki. One of his boons will be healing magic so he'll be attempting to be Tadashi be Baymax help that way. Update - post-timeskip: After their fight in June, Hiro hung back on the Guild and just acted as Junior Premier whenever Lemina needed him. He had a few students he checked in with but was largely hands-off while also learning how to control his fire magic and his wind magic. Learned to use a dagger instead. Has mastered level 1 illusion spellwork from Loki and will be looking into runic magic.
✖ If he behaves and proves himself, he will be playing a very large part in the R&D that Saber's setting up in Spire 10 acting as the Head of Project. Once that starts he will begin questioning how to make off-locket communication devices and teaming up with Rin, most likely. Update - post-timeskip: Saber named him head of project at the end of March 2701. When Rin didn't teach him right away, he circumvented her and learned to make the devices himself (accomplished by June 2701.) He's been working and will continue to work with Rin to further develop their partnership and create more tech to sell.
✖ Notable dates include a certain unhappy anniversary in the spring (sometime in the first part of April) that will cause him to basically shut down, along with his 15th birthday (headcanoned August 22nd) Update - post-timeskip: Both of these were acknowledged.
✖ CR-wise he'll be going to extreme lengths to keep in contact with Jason Todd and Loki until the three go their separate ways over the timeskip (possibly developing a friendship with Billy Kaplan via Loki as well?) Around April he'll most likely meet Joshua Kiryu and learn some very important things about him and gain a troll-guardian. Around March most likely he'll also meet Leo Valdez while unfreezing people via fire magic (tentative?) and also he will officially meet Nico di Angelo and soothe the tensions between him and Lumina, who he will also occasionally pop in and visit. In July he'll take a month off to go explore the northlands with Thrall. He'll be in contact with various people he's assisted so far and just let them know he's available if necessary but otherwise he'll be mostly exploring on his own. I want to also use this time to send him to some of the neutral territory (maybe Redgate) and also maybe make some Seelie CR since right now he kinda hates all of them. Update - post-timeskip: Jason and Hiro have had a turbulent year that ended with them splitting up for good until Hiro gathers the nerve to crawl back and apologize. He's developed very close friendships with Loki, Billy, Shijima, Eren, Lumina, Lemina, Thrall, and Howard. He's developed an extremely close friendship with Nico di Angelo as well and has since realized he has romantic feelings for him that he's yet to act on. Joshua Kiryu continues to act as a guardian angel and one person Hiro can be about 95% open and honest with and receive real answers. He developed a friendship with Leo Valdez as he assisted him thawing the Station in March and they spoke of developing secret meeting places during Samhain, along with talks of Leo's apprenticeship. In July he explored the northlands with Thrall to heal the earth and during Yule Thrall made him a member of the Frostwolf Clan. During Samhain, the Black Shuck sent Hiro on a mission with Nico to lay the dead to rest so January-April has been spent traveling.
✖ Other people to meet/build CR with: Rin, Eren, Sakura, Katsa, Shijima, Vol'jin, Saber, Sakura, Merida, Ellie, Colette. Update - post-timeskip: Has built better CR with Rin, Eren, Shijima, Saber, Merida, Ariadne, Colette, Prince Edgar and Katsa. Has met Sakura, and Ellie. Has also met and built decent with Grell Sutcliffe, Wan, Johnny Storm, Teresa, Clarke Griffin, and Lia de Beaumont.
SUMMARY OF KNOWN DETAILS
So far Hiro's only participated in the battle and also tried to play with the jabberwock. Also will soon discover he cannot, in fact, rebuild a special robot friend and will be very upset about that. Otherwise whatever! Update - post-timeskip: Haaaaaaaaaa.
SPRING 2701
SPRING IN 2,701 (Mar, Apr, May)
- MARCH - The new King of Birds, the Roc, brings late snowstorms across the drabwurld; shardbearers must combat its magic to un-freeze each other, natives, and whole areas. Monarchs are still around and boons still occur.
- HIRO'S MARCH PLANS - Hiro will be using his newly learned fire magic to help unfreeze people (team up and meet Leo? Also team up with Merida at some point.) He will also be spending time between Spire 10 and the Station, most likely trying to set up residence in both places. He will also be recruiting for Lemina's magic guild and attempting to learn more about the R&D sanction of the Unseelie that will be housed in Spire 10. Update - post-timeskip: All true save for teaming up with Merida. Hiro worked with several people this month during the freeze (Leo, Johnny, Howard, Wan, Lemina, Katsa, etc.)
- APRIL - Shardbearers shall be struck at various moments by the sound of harp-playing which inspires distractingly, disablingly intense and wild emotions, but be unable to determine the source! Shardbearers will discover that they can follow the sound only in their dreams to the dream-image of a harp which magically plays itself. Smashing the harp in their dreams will disable the spell which affects their waking moments. This is the last month monarchs will be visibly around and which boons will occur.
- HIRO'S APRIL PLANS - Hiro will be hearing the harp and stuck struggling with keeping said-emotions under wraps and will probably explode on someone. Once he figures out how to smash the harp it will be done so. Update - post-timeskip: Had a near panic-attack about his harp and had a loooong talk with Joshua about how the harps worked and also a long talk about death and morality after Hiro smashed the harp. Spent the entire month of April locked away doing research and hiding from everyone/ignoring his CR.
- MAY - Golden swans will migrate to the mainland from the southern coast, devouring newly-planted crops and seeds; slaying them turns them into solid gold swan figurines. (also the Monarchs will be gone, lockets stop working, people opting out go to sleep.)
- HIRO'S PLANS FOR MAY - Once he finds out that the swan figures can become money, he'll most likely be taking his newly-booned cat and chasing/terrorizing the swans to get money. When Mochi won't have any of it, Hiro will team up with Shijima to kill swans and get money. Update - post-timeskip: The first of May was spent hunting down Jason Todd. Afterwards he made his way to Lumina's farm and started building automatic feeding stations for her chocobos. He also hunted swans with Shijima without Mochi (did not boon the cat.) Also researched in the background and worked on his communication devices. Worked with the Guild when he could.
SUMMER 2701
SUMMER IN 2,701 (Jun, Jul, Aug)
- JUNE - It becomes clear that the areas the Jabberwock spent too much time in will grow nothing and have become barren; includes areas around Caer Glaem, the Cothromach, the Station, other parts of the map. Shardbearers may attempt to heal these areas.
Treun holds its famous summer tourney! The purse is 5,000 gold marks for each of these competitions: Magical Duelling, Mounted Joust, and the Melee! The competitions go over the day, featuring many famed individuals participating in secret, and the revels continue over nights. A mod post will go up for this event.
- HIRO'S JUNE PLANS- He's not going to participate in the tourney but he IS going to set up a giant betting pool for non-participants to get involved. Since a lot of his friends are also competing he will most likely spread a few rumors about the stats of the fighters to mess with the odds. His healing plans will take place in July instead. Update - post-timeskip: Betting pool still happened and he almost got his ass kicked for it. Nico di Angelo saved him and his friendship with the boy started. Also handed out communicators to his very close CR. And also found out Lemina was offering the Guild to Seelie shardbearers, got pissed, and stopped talking to her. Hiro's work with the Guild went on pause.
- JULY - Violent anti-shardbearer demonstration in Daonna results in the hanging of a dozen Seelie and Unseelie shardbearers in the city square. Whispers insist that ancient shardbearer Martin Maskmaker is behind the clever fox-masks which magically hide the identities of the killers and help them leave no trace.
- HIRO'S JULY PLANS-If Hiro gets IC word he's going to start trying to work on solving the mystery despite not having clues about the killers. However he will be spending the entire month of July traveling with Thrall into the northlands to assess the damage of the area and start trying to heal them on their own. Update - post-timeskip: Did not do anything about the anti-shardbearer demonstrations but instead spent the whole month with Thrall traveling to the northlands to heal the destruction from the jabberwock.
- AUGUST - Leathann's Festival of Lights is the second week in August, a curious local celebration timed to the arrival of fireflies which will this year mark the induction of the new Oracle; overnight the boats which comprise the Water Market all seem to have vanished, and natives float candles on the river out to sea and let paper lanterns fly, while in the distance the Tower of the Oracle glows golden through day and night.
- HIRO'S AUGUST PLANS- Depending on if he can get there, he might go down and check it out because pretty lights and fireflies and stuff. Around the 19th or so, he'll be organizing a beach trip with friends as a guise to celebrate not only his birthday (August 22nd) but also Jason Todd's (August 16th.) Update - post-timeskip: Came back from his journey with Thrall and immediately was whisked away by Nico to Leathann for the Festival of Lights. Celebrated his/Jason's birthday on August 20th. Background research. He apologized to Lemina this month as well. Guild work is still less but he's helping where he can. R&D research goes back into full-swing at the end of August.
AUTUMN 2701
FALL IN 2,701 (Sept, Oct, Nov)
- SEPTEMBER - The magical power which allows shardbearers to understand Drabbish and each other goes haywire; affected characters will be heard speaking their native tongue! All their writing, however, will still be seen as Drabbish. The annual Treun wreath festival! Harvests are very poor, but the spectacle and scope of the dancing, grain-giving, and public drunkenness are as riotously whole-hearted as ever. The festival ends in drunken bread-riots, however, and fires set in the garden district. The public calls for Fortuna to abdicate his position
- HIRO'S SEPTEMBER PLANS- Language shenanigans! Let's see how many people he no longer understands. Hiro speaks and understands English and Japanese fluently. No other plans thus-far. Update - post-timeskip: He pantomimed stuff with Wan to learn meditation methods better! He also started learning how to write and translate things in Ancient Greek for a certain present for a certain demigod. Month was spent heavily doing research and development and mostly stuck to the Spire save for his time with Wan at the Station near the end of September.
- OCTOBER - 25-30 - SAMHAIN! Sun does not rise; characters can go wherever they please; Black Shuck makes another appearance; giant party on the Cathraon. Mods will post logs for this.
- HIRO'S OCTOBER PLANS- - Samhain! Hiro's going to attend Samhain and probably get into a lot of trouble because it's a giant party. He's going to try to approach Black Shuck with Nico di Angelo and force Eren Yeager into a suit because it's hilarious. He'll probably also be easier to trick into dancing with his CR and he'll be mingling around to meet new people as well. October otherwise is completely open and planless. Update - post-timeskip: Early October he researched blood granite with Edgar, but otherwise pretty much nothing about this has changed other than the fact that approaching Shuck was a Bad Idea and he and Nico were tasked with traveling the Drabwurld to lay the dead to rest. Hiro's secrets about Nico were revealed to Loki after he stopped the fight between Nico and Lumina. Loki also gave him his first kiss to prove it was no big deal. Hiro pushed him in the face a lot. Also began planning secret clubs/safehouses with Leo Valdez and made a lot of new connections.
- NOVEMBER - Inmates from a magical island prison-colony of Leathann have escaped, and some manage to reach the mainland and begin causing havoc! The government of Leathann posts rewards for the return of these criminals, dead or alive. Many are legitimately dangerous mages and sorcerers; others are simply individuals who are debtors to the state and couldn't pay their taxes!
- HIRO'S NOVEMBER PLANS- He may try to team up with some people to go after some of the criminals but for the most part he'll be using the month of November to research High Queen Morla and complete a quest for Ariadne. Update - post-timeskip: First two weeks of November alternated between working on the quest for Ariadne and researching stuff for R&D. The end of November was spent with Lumina traveling to Spire 9's city to work with the vampires to make copies of her chocobo books.
WINTER 2701
WINTER IN 2,701/2,702 (Dec, Jan, Feb)
- DECEMBER - YULE! Giant hunting party with both courts trying to catch the White Hart! Mods will post logs for this.
- HIRO'S DECEMBER PLANS- He's going to wind up building an army of snowmen and one very special Snowmax at the Station if he can get there. Otherwise no real plans. He'll be celebrating Yule/Christmas and provide presents to a lot of his close CR. Update - post-timeskip: Haha he basically exchanged presents with people, argued with Nico until Nico agreed to take him on Shuck's task, ventured on an overnight trip with Thrall to become a tiny Frostwolf, argued with Jason about Nico and cut their ties temporarily and ditched the spire to head out. Last month he researched stuff for R&D. Last month he actively worked with the Guild.
- JANUARY - Caer Scima is at last entirely rebuilt, and grander than ever!
- HIRO'S JANUARY PLANS- Definitely going to return to CS to see how it's been rebuilt. Otherwise he's pretty quiet this month. Update - post-timeskip: Definitely did not return to CS and definitely did not remain quiet this month. Spent the month traveling and training with Nico.
- FEBRUARY -Parrais holds its Ostara Feast! A local celebration of and competition in the arts, chalks harvested from the coast are all dyed and given to local children the full week before, and the whole city is mostly covered in their murals. By the feast's end, several famous elven artisans and musicians are found with their throats slashed.
- HIRO'S FEBRUARY PLANS- He's going to end up bouncing off to Redgate with Billy Kaplan to crash in Loki's dorm and also try to break into the fancy-schmancy library. May also end up meeting a handful of the Seelie in Redgate. Update - post-timeskip: Went to Redgate with Billy to research more/bond with Billy/crash in on Loki. Billy and Loki figured out his romantic feelings toward a certain son of Hades that Hiro adamantly denied. Hiro gained access to the Redgate library for research. In addition, he traveled to Mair and met Grell who spoke with him of death, magic, and runes as she helped him with the next leg of his task for Shuck.
SPRING 2702
SPRING IN 2,702 (Mar, Apr)
- MARCH - The skeletons of unburied soldiers killed in battle begin to rise, devouring whatever living beasts or people they come upon until their skulls are struck off.
- HIRO'S MARCH PLANS- Gonna double-check that this isn't Nico's work and then use a combination of magic and other skills to kill the skeletons. Update - post-timeskip: Rejoined Nico! This probably was tied into their initial task anyway. Also met Jason again at the end of the month and it went as poorly as one would expect. Jason told Hiro how to fix it ("come home", basically) and Hiro shied away from the idea.
- APRIL - Great numbers of imps and fairies begin to go missing in both castles, to the point where many everyday tasks go unfinished!
- HIRO'S APRIL PLANS- Start devising ways to accomplish the daily tasks with inventions while hunting for the missing imps. Update - post-timeskip: He's lost Jason and it's that time of year again. During Yule he set up a meeting with Joshua on the anniversary of the harp-smashing so they could chat and review everything wrong with the world. He also had a friend-date with Merida where the same sort of things were discussed. Lastly, he received a quest from the Unseelie monarchs just as he was getting ready to go find Jason to apologize one last time.
- MAY - End of timeskip.
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zerotohiro) wrote2014-01-31 08:35 pm
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Jason generally likes that.
He found him early in April, jumping from fairy ring to fairy ring to clear his head. The absence of Hiro, combined with his own burgeoning responsibilities, had led him to seeking out freedom. He had been in an emotional haze then, and he had been trying to run from the noise. When he found the old man, the noise continued, but he settled in and listened. Something about it had been comforting.
Now at a loss of resources without anywhere to go, he listens again, a pint of something thick and dark in front of him. He's intent on hearing the end of this story about the Seelie bastards when he notices everyone else turning toward the newest entrant. The only one who doesn't seem to give a damn about him is his old man, and that's because he's still talking.
Of course, Jason would normally be keen on continuing to listen, but he knows that face. He knows that face.
Torn between two decisions, he finally lifts a finger up.]
An obligation just walked in. Can I get a rain check?
[The man looks at him uncertainly.]
I wanna hear the rest later. That sound good?
[Toothily with a wide grin, the old man agrees. Jason shoves over his beer in way of payment for that, and he gets up to greet Hiro as he approaches the bar.]
Don't worry, guys. He's with me. [He waves the natives off as they look at Hiro curiously, like he might have walked into the wrong place. While this tavern is mostly Unseelie-based in its loyalties, the occasional bandit walks in from time to time to cause trouble. They want food, but they get greedy, especially when they spot a shardbearer. There are a couple seated by the door right now, but they know better than to mess with Jason. Now that he's laid "claims" on Hiro? They know not to mess with him, too.
Jason's made it clear what happens when someone tries, after all.
He closes off the rest of the distance between him and Hiro, hand planted firmly on Hiro's head as he finishes moving him to the bar.]
Long time no see, old chap. [The words are slightly accented and mocking, too.
He doesn't want this to be a big deal.]
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Whatever. He's too exhausted to really fight it so once they're at the bar he just settles in and props his head up with a hand, staring at him for a minute. It's a long minute full of a strange indecisiveness like Hiro's unsure of what he wants to say first.]
Everything's broken. [He blurts out. That. That wasn't exactly what he meant, but it's a start and he continues staring at Jason, trying to analyze his facial expressions and get any kind of read on him that he can. It could also be interpreted as "I had no idea how to find you" and "this is why I didn't call back" or "I am so confused."] What are you doing here?
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It's Hiro.
Jason leans forward when he finishes, elbows on the bar counter. While he did a ton of trying to find the damn kid in the previous month, he's not here because he thought that Hiro might stumble across a random tavern that he hasn't bothered to mention to anyone. This place is meant to be Jason's little oasis, a source of various people who aren't necessarily associated with the courts who like to talk.
Especially his old man off in the corner, who's currently greedily sipping the drink that Jason left behind.]
What do you think? [he finally asks, giving Hiro an inquisitive look. It's far enough from spire three that it can't be associated with it, but it's close enough that he can travel there and back easily. That's why he figures Hiro is here. He's making presumptions, he knows that, but they aren't necessarily wrong ones. Hiro must have been there recently. Was he looking for Jason? That's a distinct possibility.
Either way, he's definitely finally come up for air.]
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Uh...[He stops then, rubbing the back of his neck and dropping his eyes to the countertop.] I got your messages. I know you said you were out but I went to Ariadne's last night anyway and waited. [Stupid, stupid, stupid.] And then you didn't show up so I was gonna go back to Spire 10 but the fairy rings are busted.
['So...I've been walking from Spire 3 back out to the mountains, got lost, and happened to show up here.' That should be obvious without him saying.]
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[That's the first question that comes to mind. Jason's already seen how well she travels with someone else, as he's been brought somewhere by her before. Now that he's sitting next to Hiro, it's hard for him to believe this kid's fucked up logic.
From what he can see, he's been traveling without any help. While Jason acquired a horse for short distances, he wonders what the hell Hiro happened to be doing. He also wonders why he happened to be doing it.]
Because she can get you places. She can get you there without you dying bleeding in someone or something's mouth.
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Asking for help is still a foreign concept. Usually help just falls in his lap whenever he's not looking and here is a whole other ballgame of needing to prove he's capable. He just shrugged in response.]
I'll figure something out. Travel during the day only or something. And anyway Ariadne's busy. [Probably. He didn't actually ask and he knows Jason knows he didn't ask.] I haven't died yet so I think we're doing okay.
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[The words sink into his stomach like Hiro took up a knife and stabbed him in a stomach. He gives a single glance toward the bartender and rolls his shoulders back. They can't be having this conversation inside. Hiro just made about five assumptions while exhibiting a complete lack of common sense. Wherever he went for the month of April, it wasn't to figure out how to be smarter about this crap.
In fact, Jason's convinced that Hiro's only alive because of luck—nothing else.
After a beat, he stands up, roughly tugging Hiro's arm to pull him toward the door.]
Let's take a walk before we make a scene. [They're going to make a scene.]
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Truth be told, Hiro's still only alive because Tadashi's bailed his ass out of trouble for the first 14 years of his life, and after that Baymax and the nerds took over. That's his story, isn't it? He's the reckless hero that ends up getting saved more often than saving people.
It was a discovery he'd made one day in April, shortly after he'd smashed his own harp. Jason wasn't kidding about weird dreams, but Hiro's didn't stop even after the harp did. It was a discovery he'd made when he woke himself up due to sobbing so hard he couldn't breathe. All it did was assure him that he made the right choice to stay hidden until he could figure it all out.
A hand wraps around a skinny arm and Hiro feels himself being pulled up from his seat. He barely stumbles as Jason starts to guide him out of the tavern, but he tugs back in a futile effort.
Damn right they're gonna make a scene.]
Now? Dude it's dark. [He's not afraid of the dark and Jason knows that. But he is afraid of what Jason's going to say to him when they're alone.] Where are we going? [It didn't matter though. Jason was going to get him outside and there was no stopping it.]
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Once they get out, he extends his hand and mutters a soft incantation to bring fire onto his palm. It's not a perfect resource, but it's enough. The way he holds the flame shows that he's been practicing it. When he's alone, he's made use of his magic, though he's been skittish about the illusions since the loss of control during the whole harp experience. He'd rather avoid going through that one again.]
Follow me. [And so he starts walking.
Jason's learned intimidation from Batman. He knows to hold off one what he has to say long enough to get Hiro to snap.]
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When the flame appears in his hand there's a visible flinch. He's grown used to fire magic since coming to the Drabwurld but after the onslaught of nightmares and being isolated with his own thoughts? He's still trying to dig himself back out. He's not drawing attention to the reaction though and instead draws in a deep breath.
Once Jason starts walking he strongly debates going the opposite way…but he knows that even though he's fast, Jason's faster. Instead he bows his head and begins to follow. But he can play that game, too. He's not going to say anything to give Jason the upper-hand. Not on purpose anyway. It's silent for a bit of time as he follows Jason through the area, eventually zipping up his sweater and drawing it closer around himself before he attempts to test the waters.]
…you called a lot.
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Thing is, you didn't. You were on my ass every step of the way from day one, and you just vanished. I still don't know what happens to a shardbearer's locket when they lose their shard, so I kept talking. Maybe someone would have helped me find what I needed to know. ["Someone" is said like he doesn't mean Hiro.]
I can put up a show of not giving a damn. But here we are. [At those words, he stops, the fire burning more brightly, encompassing more of his hand. Jason wants to look intimidating with the shadows of the flame bouncing off his face as he looks down at Hiro.]
So, what gives? Why the death wish? You like this world that much?
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But he's still going to lie. He's still going to wiggle his way out of this one and though when he speaks his voice cracks slightly the way it always does when he's caught off-guard, he still sounds fairly confident in his story.]
Got busy. I had some stuff to take care of before the month was over. [The harp. The turmoil of dealing with a fresh wave of Tadashi-strings and home-strings and things he didn't want to disclose to anybody who didn't need to know…which…was everybody, really. He tilts his chin up a little to look Jason in the eye.] Pretty sure the messages wouldn't have been delivered if a shardbearer's dead.
[He's still trying to step back and he looks away then, trying to walk off onto another path even if he has no idea where he's going.] I had my own fastballs. It's not a big deal.
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He cuts into Hiro's path quickly, very little illuminating his face as he reaches out one-handed to grab the front of Hiro's shirt to tug him up to his face.]
How about the truth this time, Hiro?
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Dude let go. [Being almost eye-level with Jason means kicking his feet wildly to try and get back to the ground and pushing at Jason's chest.] That is the truth!
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Jason doesn't let go.]
I want the damn truth. When you're ready to tell it, then I drop your ass.
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What do you want me to say? I just told you I had stuff to do last month and that's the truth. [The level of his voice is rising though and even while he wants to sound intimidating all he's really doing is starting to sound a little desperate.]
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And you never ask, but if you missed the memo, people want you dead. You're a moving target and you're being a damn idiot about it.
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Screw thinking right now.]
I don't care! [Whether he means that he's being vague or because he's a moving target he won't specify and that...says quite a bit about where his head's at. He pushes himself up into his knees but he keeps himself in a bowed position facing the ground.]
I can't...do this, too. [Too. Still not specifying what else there is but its a start. It's debatable if his shoulders are shaking because of the strain of holding his body up or because he's upset but he's staying down] Just stop. I can't do this.
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At least, he doesn't apologize yet.]
Not the first time you've heard this?
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You already know the answer to that. [Jason doesn't know anything, but he's not an idiot. Hiro knows that. Hiro also knows that Jason wouldn't be asking something like that if he didn't have a suspicion.] Usually it's "you're gonna get yourself arrested" instead of "you're gonna end up dead", but who's counting? Back home it just meant making a better plan and finding a way around the problem so I didn't get arrested again, and here it just means doing the same thing so I don't end up dead.
[He should stop there, but now that he's started it's a little harder to stop. He already explained that much of the story. May as well come clean with some of the other things.]
I had to find a way to smash the harp on my own. Nothing was working for a long time and even after it was destroyed I...[...there's a deep breath. Well. Goodbye, bravado. Goodbye, trying to prove to Jason he's an adult. He knows the minute he says the next sentence he's losing all credibility and proving exactly what Jason's probably thought all along. He's too much of a kid to handle things. He's too weak. He can't do anything in this world. Whatever the assumption, the answer's still the same.]
The harp stopped but the nightmares didn't. So I had to figure out how to fix everything. Things are still missing and broken and I can't do anything about it and it took me a whole month to figure out that there are things I can never fix, but I can't stop trying even if it's getting worse. I don't have answers though. Nothing I'm doing is making it better. And then I saw all of your messages and I had to make sure you were okay, so...I left. I had to make sure you were okay because I can't lose anybody else. [If he's aware he's repeating himself he's not saying so. It's important that Jason knows what it means to him that he's not dead. Even after the words leave his mouth he realizes that it probably sounds overdramatic, but at the time? There was absolutely nothing but kind of a blind ambition behind his actions. He knows Jason's died once before. He's not letting it happen again.] ...that's the truth. That's what you wanted to hear, and now you know the truth.
[He braces himself for whatever Jason might have, mentally prepping himself for a few snide remarks or just another jab at the fact that he's not living up to his name or he's being an idiot or something. Anything. But it's out in the open now and he can't take it back.]
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After all, Jason knows a lot about being unable to fix something. He was unable to help his mother fix their home situation after his father vanished, and he was unable to fix her health as she slowly withered away and died. He was unable to fix the world with Bruce, and he was unable to fix himself, turning himself into a better Robin. Now, he's even more unable to make himself into something different—something better. Unlike that picture of that boy named Tim Drake, he doesn't smile with a light in his eyes, well aware of only the darkness that clouds all of his actions.
He may be utterly convinced that he knows better, but he had his own harp experience last month. He remembers being so caught up in a delusion that he couldn't realize the false nature of it until he he had already started hurting Loki. Those doubts won't help Jason much, but he also knows they'll ground him. He has to let them seep in and keep himself from being lost in another delusion. Maybe the doubts will be the key to fixing him.
But they won't help Hiro. Jason may not be able to help anything within his reach, but Hiro's always remained just outside of it, hasn't he?]
I need more details, [he finally says.] How many times were you arrested? Who lectured you? Did this happen before or after the hero gig?
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But he's talking.]
Just once. It's not a big deal, I just got caught before I could get away that time. [Okay. This is it. It's a shaky little breath but he can push through it as long as he doesn't look at him.] Tadashi used to lecture me all the time about how bot-fighting was illegal and about how I needed to use my head more for something useful instead of scamming people out of money. I gotta give him credit, he was always really, really good at tricking me into things. He--I mean he used to let me think I was making my own choices. That I was winning. Not true. [There's a short, choked kind of laugh.] Right after we got out of jail I was already looking up the next bot fight to bet on and Tadashi…I really thought he was going to just let me go. He took me to his college campus instead because he knew better. Tadashi always knew better. [The longer he speaks, the more it becomes clear just how much he admires his older brother even now.] It's been that way since we were kids. Mom and Dad died when I was 3 but Tadashi was old enough that he remembered everything. We have Aunt Cass but it's always been Tadashi that…["Kept me safe."] Anyway, this was before the hero thing. Before that, I was just working on a project to get me into SFIT.
[A lull.] Tadashi was the reason for the hero thing though. I finally listened and used my brain for something else and created this really cool invention. My microbots? I don't know if I've told you about those. [He knows he hasn't.] They were supposed to change everything and they did at first. They were enough to get me into SFIT and everything. But then there was a fire and everything burned up. The microbots were destroyed, and Professor Callaghan was still inside and Tadashi…[Shit.] Knucklehead. So convinced somebody had to help and that that someone had to be him no matter what. …the building exploded right after he went inside. ["And I watched it burn."]
Later we found out that the microbots actually weren't destroyed and somebody was making more. For a while we thought it was Alistair Krei. He's the head of Krei Tech and he wanted to buy my microbots but I said no. Anyway, I had to fix what I started and I had to stop everything before it got worse, so…I recruited my friends and Baymax to help me catch the guy in the mask. I made them their armor and wrote new coding for Baymax and everything. [A beat.] I didn't do this to be a hero. That was never what I thought my life would be, but I had to stop the guy in the mask. Turned out to be Callaghan. He didn't even care about what happened to Tadashi. He said it was Tadashi's own mistake for running in after him to try and save him. [And even now judging by the way his voice cracks it still hurts. That's the only sign that he's struggling to keep talking though. He looks up again, making sure Jason's listening.] I almost killed him. I asked Baymax to destroy him…my friends stopped us though. I...I was really, really mad that they stopped us. They just let Callaghan get away from me when I had him right where I wanted him. It would have been so easy to just destroy him and let him die the way he let Tadashi die.
It took a while to understand, but I realized I can't kill people. Tadashi wouldn't want that. Tadashi...Tadashi only wanted to help people. He wanted to heal people and save the whole world. That was who Tadashi was and maybe I'm not like him, but I had to try and fix the mistakes I'd made but in a different way. Callaghan didn't care about anything but getting revenge and I couldn't let that happen. And even though he was a bad person, I couldn't let him lose his daughter when Baymax and I found her inside the portal. [Back down to his lap again.] Even if it meant losing Baymax, too.
[That's where he chooses to stop. It's a lot of information to take in, and he hopes Jason understands enough to either ask the right questions or just draw his own conclusions. He'll elaborate who Baymax is in a little bit. He had to talk about Tadashi first.]
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Of course, that desire is waning. He's changing, and the plan for home is evolving. It's evolving even now. The wheels in Jason's head are turning. But he can't focus on that. He can't get lost in the moment, in the parallels and the fucked up road of his life.
He can't.
He has to focus.
He has to focus on the fact that Hiro has a brother who died in an explosion just like him. He has a brother who died saving someone who was screwed up, but it was still a good thing. Hiro had been inspired by that, and what had happened to Bruce? What had happened with Bruce? Bruce hadn't cared. Bruce hadn't been changed by his death, even if Talia once spouted pretty words to him
Focus.
Focus, he has to focus. His throat feels tight and uncertain, and he looks down at Hiro and wants to run away, wants to come up with a better, more competent plan to deal with this whole mess.
But he can't.
He pants out a breath, and then he breathes in. Out. In. Out. Focus. His hands are curled into fists.
He's focusing.]
What—[he begins and stops almost immediately. Breathe.]
What does that have to do with last month, Hiro?
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Last month was April. [Okay, and?] ...Tadashi's only been gone for maybe a month and a half back home. It's May there. [Aprils are going to be hard for the rest of his life, but hopefully it won't be the entire month by this time next year. He knows it's only because of the harps feeding on his emotions and enhancing them, forcing him to face everything. That doesn't mean he has to like it.] And it was only a couple of days back home since Baymax was destroyed before I got here. But they allowed me to bring part of him with me.
[The robot arm that he clung to initially.] But I can't fix him. I can't rebuild him. There aren't enough pieces and even with all of Tadashi's notes I can't bring Baymax back and I can't bring Tadashi back.
...like I said, I was busy. I had stuff to do and stuff's still broken. Magic can't fix it. Technology can't fix it. What am I supposed to do, Jason? [It's debatable if it's a real question.] I'll think of something, but nothing's worked so far. So...sorry, but I had to really focus. [Or quietly mourn in the only way he really knows how to at this point. Throw himself into project after project.]
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You're trying to fix your messes back home, but you can't. That isn't why we're here. [Though as much as Jason would like to compartmentalize the two modes of existence—here and back home—he can't. He knows that no matter what he tries, he will still be different coming out on the other end of the Drabwurld. But some things can't be helped.]
We're here to make sure that we can fix the shit we left behind. It's as simple as that.
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