zerotohiro | Some Legends Are Told, Some Turn To Dust Or To Gold [CEREALIA INBOX]

[He blatantly stares for a moment, not sure if he wants to laugh or cry at what he's looking at. It's so simple that it's actually sort of funny to picture a hungover Yu shuffling around making them, but they remind him of home and sort of make him homesick. Of course, home's it's own clusterfuck of a topic but instead of bothering to sort through all of that he forces his features into a lopsided grin, even finally going with a small laugh.]

Dude, don't worry about it...thanks. [He doesn't move, but he's definitely fixated on the container so he doesn't have to look at Yu.] I used to buy onigiri from this store down the street from Lucky Cat when they were out of gummy bears, but it's been a while. [One of these things is not like the other.

There's a pause as he thinks of where this conversation's going and soon he peeks up at Yu from under his bangs.] So, how bad did you feel when you woke up yesterday?

[ He does notice that Hiro doesn't take it from him. After a moment, he'll simply set it on the bench between them. if he needs to return it to its bag, that's alright. ]

You should eat, if you haven't. I promise I'm not a terrible cook. [ His eyes are warm with his amusement.

At least, until Hiro asks him that question, and he grimaces a little. Perhaps a bit more than he would usually, for comical effect. ]

I've never been hungover before. I had no idea what I was in for. I thought the headache would go away quickly... I was wrong. [ He sighs. ]

[He knows. He's still eyeing the container even if there's a soft snort of response.] I never thought you were. I'll eat in a little bit. I'm not really hungry.

[He leans back on the bench, finding it hard to really relax but still allowing himself to grin at Yu's response.] Too bad one of your Persona couldn't heal you from that. But in the end, was it worth it? Everything from prom and everything that came from you being drunk and everything after.

[There. Might be a specific reason he's asking.]

Worth it?

[ That's an interesting way of putting it. He watches Hiro with inscrutable eyes, thoughtful. ]

Yeah.

That's good. [A soft, almost hesitant smile.] I talked to Minato this morning. He seemed pretty okay with all of it but that guy's impossible to read sometimes. I just wanted to make sure your night wasn't totally unsalvageable or anything.

[ He talked to Minato? About us?

Yu smiles a little, touched that his friend reached out on his behalf, if also a little embarrassed. ]

You're right in that he can be tough to get a read on. But I'm okay with the way things happened. And that's in large part thanks to you, Hiro. I owe you one.

[He won't say to the extent, but he's very adamant that Yu doesn't get hurt from this. He likes Minato, but Yu will always be the more important of the two. He won't say that Minato reached out to him first to tease him about Ruby. That isn't important right now.

If anything, he's more than surprised that Yu's thanking him and he blinks up at him, mouth open in a small show of surprise before he slowly shakes his head.] You actually don't owe me anything. Like...[There's a short huff of laughter.] Why would you even say that?

Because without you, I'm pretty sure things would have gone differently between Minato-san and I. The thing is, until you and I spoke, I was convinced he didn't want anything to do with me ... like that, anyway. [ He says it a bit awkwardly, and he smiles a little. ] I was planning on apologizing and telling him I wasn't going to bother him anymore. [ Yu turns his head to look at Hiro directly, his gaze clear, his expression mildly fond. ]

You changed that. And now, things might go in a direction I wasn't expecting. Seriously, thanks.

[Is that true? Could it possibly be true? Could he really have changed something when he only said what made the most sense? It wasn't even his business; he'd only butted in and offered his suggestions to things that he had zero experience with. Yu could thank him all he wants, but he's convinced that he only guided Yu to what he already knew.

It makes him wonder if it's possible he really had an effect on anyone else. He doesn't say anything for a long moment, staring at Yu, unblinking and awkward before he tries to grin in response. It doesn't work, but it's a good effort.]

It's just...this is the only chance we're gonna have for some stuff like this. We all have to stick together. But...you're welcome, I guess. [He chews on his lip, staring at his sneakers that're resting on the edge of the bench as he thinks.] ...we can change other things, can't we?

The only chance...

[ Yu echoes that quietly, with no intention of really continuing that line of thought. But it does remind him of a number of things. Things he'd kind of let fall by the wayside while he was getting swept up in all that was happening. He'd had so many girls interested in him back in Inaba... he'd even had a girlfriend, technically, even if that had been a pretend/temporary thing, technically. But there had been a reason he'd ended up never pursuing anything, or turning down anyone who approached him... a reason he'd walked away from poor Yumi, a reason he'd held off on hugging Rise, a reason he'd told Yukiko they were friends.

Forming attachments when he was just going to leave hadn't felt right. But what's any different about this place? In fact, isn't the risk even greater here? He won't even have any control over whether or not he might leave...

Or whether Minato might leave.

At the same time... Minato isn't quite like anyone else he's ever been interested in before, is he?

He has a lot to think about. In the meantime, he thinks he can tell why it is Hiro's actually called him out here. His smile fades, his expression returning to neutral as he watches Hiro thoughtfully.

In the end, he doesn't agree or disagree. Just ducks his head, trying to catch Hiro's eye, nodding for him to go on. Something about his body language says: It's alright, Hiro. ]

[He refuses to look him in the eye, but he can tell that Yu's approaching this as he usually does in his non-judgmental manner. (He knows that Yu can be a judgmental guy, but never in these cases.) It's why he feels he can actually maybe start to talk to him, maybe start to sort out things he's thinking of.]

...yeah. [He pauses, swallowing thickly to try and clear the sudden lump in his throat.] This is sort of a place where we get chances we can never have in our own worlds, y'know? What if...[He stops again, pausing as he tries to figure out where to start.] Do you think the chances we take here can maybe change the stuff in our own worlds?

[ For a long moment, Yu doesn't say anything, soaking in that question. His face betrays nothing of his thoughts.

Of course he can figure out right away why Hiro is asking. There can only be one reason. The power to affect fate... to override maybe the worst fate of all. On the one hand, to say yes to that question would feel like posing false hope. There's no overriding death... at least, not a death like Tadashi's. On the other hand, what CERES is doing should be impossible in the first place, shouldn't it? And Yu has seen all kinds of impossible things. Could it be done? Could the technology CERES uses to project their code on Tellus be used on other worlds? ]

I don't know. But it seems like you might think so.

[ It's true. There's no judgment in his voice. Only a sort of quiet, thoughtful curiosity. ]

We're code. We should be able to fix it and write it to be whatever we want, that's the point of coding in the first place. Upgrades and rewrites. But...people do restorations all the time to go back to older other versions. I don't want that. I want to keep everything that's happened but fix things for the better.

[He's put thought into this, it seems.] ...he's unhappy here. [It's said very, very quietly.] He doesn't think he deserves to be happy here because he's dead back home. He doesn't realize that he wasn't supposed to die. [And he stops to see what Yu says, realizing there's no way to turn this conversation around and avoid it.]

[ There's so much he could say to that. So much, he doesn't even know where to begin.

Is anyone supposed to die?

Nanako wasn't supposed to die.

Tadashi...

Yu is silent for a long time. Longer than Hiro might even be comfortable with. Finally: ]

I won't ask if you understand the enormity of what you're saying. I know you do. I think anything like this is worth at least trying. [ He finally glances at Hiro again, after a long moment spent looking away. ] But how would you test it?

[What a good question. He doesn't know, truthfully, and Yu's right in that the stretch of silence is almost uncomfortable. For a moment, he'd thought Yu would actually tell him it was a stupid idea. This isn't the case and he's left struggling with putting his thoughts into words.]

...there's that Nexus. It's where we supposedly all go when our code gets corrupted somehow, and...and people have come back out of there with new memories. I could test it myself. I could fix the coding and then test my own memories to see if I had new ones of Tadashi being alive. Something. Something that wouldn't hurt him or anybody else. I could try that. If it didn't work I could rewrite the code again until it did.

You want to corrupt your own coding and then try to fix yourself? Hiro...

[ Yu sighs. ]

Whether or not you're certain that would work, it's dangerous! I know you're meticulous, but what you're proposing goes beyond just a scientific experiment. I don't want to be the person that limits you, Hiro, but... what if something goes wrong? Who would be the person to bring you back?

I can't get anyone else involved. I'm not losing anybody else! [That outburst is probably expected but he's looking up and staring Yu in the face with a weird sort of ferocity.] I'll figure out a way to bring myself back, I'm not letting anyone else touch my experiments again!

[There's a pause and he's struggling to keep it together, shaking slightly in his fury at the idea of messing this up.] I can make this work, Yu. I don't...[He stops, floundering on what to say. He knows Yu's right. He can't exactly argue against it.]

[ I'm not letting anyone else touch my experiments again!

Again... there's a history there. More than Yu knows about. Hiro's body language would be a dead giveaway even if what he'd just said hadn't been. Yu watches him calmly. ]

Calm down, Hiro. It's alright. It's not that I don't believe you. But what you're saying... it's risky. And you want to do it alone. That's the part I can't let you do. Don't you see now? You have bonds, here. Me, Dipper, Ruby, Rei-san, Minato-san, everyone else you've met here in Cerealia... we're going to back you up.

[ Yu leans over, placing both hands on Hiro's shoulders. ] I know you're scared of losing us. But as much as you're asking us to trust in you, you have to trust in us as well. That's what the power of bonds means.

Edited 2016-01-24 08:20 (UTC)

I am calm! [This sure is calm. He tries to pull back but it's either he's not applying enough of his strength or Yu has too much of it that finds him unable to move. So instead he's clenching his eyes shut and shaking his head again.]

And what happens if those bonds break? Not all bonds last forever. I need to keep all of them as long as I can and the only way I can really do that is by keeping everyone else safe. [There are some deep-seated issues here.] Do you know what happens when people die here? Their coding gets messed up. It eventually reverts back to how it was but who knows what other lasting damage there could be? I don't know if I can rewrite someone else easily, but I can fix myself in the tests.

You're not. Take a moment and breathe, alright?

[ He won't continue this while Hiro is freaking out. He lowers his chin, trying to get Hiro to look hm in the eye and just breathe. He's not doing this because he's looking down on his friend; quite the opposite. He appreciates just how big and important this is, and precisely why this needs to be approached as calmly as possible. ]

[Nononono. His brain's buzzing too much and he's not sure where his thoughts are going, but Yu's voice cuts through all of that clean enough and leaves him with nothing but that thought.

"Breathe."

There's a brief second or two where he's doing just the opposite of that. Suddenly though, he takes Yu's advice. He takes a breath to calm down...

...and finds it quite horrific when that breath turns into a choked sob. 'Not now...please not right now.' This is still the opposite of calm but it's a little too late to stop the overflow of tears and another strangled sort of sound.

Maybe it was easier when he wasn't breathing.]

[ Yu knows what's coming before Hiro seems to. It's why, gently, he sets aside the food he'd brought. It had been sitting between them, and would have gotten in the way.

When Hiro starts to cry, Yu is ready for him. One arm is circling around the younger teen's shoulders, the other going round his waist. And just like that, he's carefully pulling Hiro against his chest, propping his chin on Hiro's head. He had a feeling this was coming. All that wound up energy, the topic at hand, the buzzing terrible readiness... this must have been weighing on Hiro for some time. And more than anything, wanting to do it alone... to do something as terrifying as attempt to raise the dead, and conduct all the experiments on himself, all to protect the people he loves...

Yu will admit Hiro is incredibly brave. But he's also extremely foolish. And he hugs his friend tightly, thinking all these things as he lets the boy in his arms cry himself out. ]

[There are several things here that need to be said and context to be given but that will come in due time. Maybe it's just due to Yu being older and wiser or maybe it's due to Hiro being far more stubborn than he should be, but it's absolutely no surprise that Yu catches on much quicker than Hiro does. He's surprised, if anything, to find Yu responding and part of him thinks he really needs to stop and pull away and suppress everything. They'd been having a very serious conversation and now...well. Would Yu take him seriously after this?

The other part, of course, is a little relieved and as such he finds himself more or less burying his face somewhere in Yu's shoulder. It's probably best for both of them that it doesn't take him long to cry himself out and pull himself together, but it's clear that this has been a long time coming and probably needed to be done. In the end when he does stop, he keeps his face hidden there and allows his words to be muffled.]

S-sorry. [A small sniff. He certainly feels foolish, but probably for all the wrong reasons.] This isn't why I asked you to come out here. Promise.

[ Unsmiling, but not unkindly, as he strokes a hand over Hiro's hair: ]

You know it would be okay if it was, right? You don't have to promise me anything. I'll always listen to whatever you have to say, Hiro.

...even if what I had to tell you would probably change your entire opinion about me? [He's still not moving, but at least he's oddly comforted by this.] I don't usually do this. [Cry on people, spill his guts, either or.]

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