zerotohiro | Some Legends Are Told, Some Turn To Dust Or To Gold [CEREALIA INBOX]

You'll slip up someday, I guarantee it. But I'll consider maybe going easy on you. Someone once asked the entire network if time felt weird to anybody else. I never thought about it, but it's kinda true. It's like we're getting extra time but I know we're not since the sun and moon are still rotating 24 hours a day. I'm still studying space and astronomy here. I hate to break it to you but I think just BEING HERE is inviting disaster. It's a strange place to live but I think I'm finally getting used to it. Oh. [And he stops.] It's not a big deal, don't worry about it. Typical teenage insecurity??? [Which would be fine if Hiro were a typical teenager and if Yu even thought to believe that.]

You're sure about that? I won't let myself fall so easily.

Time felt weird...? Interesting. I hadn't thought about that, but it's possible. Even if we're getting 24 hours a day, they could be messing with our senses somehow. We know they have the technology to do that, after all. And, heh, you're right about that. You think it's possible to get used to a place like this? Maybe so. I've been thinking of going back to school, myself.

That wasn't what it sounded like to me, Hiro. We both know you've had some pretty major things on your mind in the past. Are you positive you don't want to talk about it?

Edited 2016-01-12 07:28 (UTC)

Consider it a challenge! Uh huh. Hang on. [Give him a second, he'll just forward a link to an older post.] I don't really know what it means, but it's something to consider. I hate the idea that they're messing with our senses though but the more I look at it the more I know that's exactly what they're doing. And maybe getting used to is a loose term, but I don't...really dislike it as much as I should. Not all of it.

[There's a long enough pause that Yu might think he's done talking. He's not sure how he wants to answer that since he's not wrong. He's had a lot on his mind and he hasn't figured out how to properly express it, nor has he wanted to really share it. He stares at the CereVice for a few moments, sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach as he taps on the keys.]

...sorry. I know you've got a lot going on with the whole Minato thing and other stuff but I. [Okay. No. Gotta get better at actually asking people for help and advice.] Are you busy right now?

Haha. Bring it on.

Interesting. I'll check it out later. [ Aside from the post itself, a cursory scroll through it does make something stick out to him. Rin... ] Yeah, I can guess why. You can meet all sorts of people and do all kinds of things you wouldn't get to otherwise.

[ Yu waits out the silence patiently. He knows how Hiro can be. The message that comes isn't unexpected, and he's ready. ]

I'm here. Where do you want to meet?

And then some. [You can be with people you never thought you'd see again, too.

He's already strongly debating changing his mind and backing out, telling Yu never mind and going back to teasing him about Minato, but Yu's been nothing but understanding since the two met and it's weird to say that he trusts him with certain things more than other people.]

I don't know. Somewhere private, probably. Can't go to the tech shop, can't bring you here, the cafe's too crowded this time of day. [Stalling.] ...the gardens, maybe? The weather's not bad today. There's this really cool fountain shaped like a crane that's got a couple of benches nearby. I can meet you there if that's okay?

That sounds fine to me. I'll meet you there in about fifteen minutes if that sounds good to you. See you soon, Hiro.

Ok

[That's all he says. He doesn't even spell it right, hasty in getting the message out and preparing himself for what he knows is not going to be a great conversation. But the thing is that he knows better and he knows that bottling everything for too long is usually met with disastrous results.

He'll have to try to apologize to Yu later.

He's there roughly five minutes early, rigid and seated on a bench with his knees drawn up to his chest and his chin resting on them, eyes wide and searching for Yu. He's beyond nervous, chewing his lip to shreds and tapping his fingers in an awkward rhythm on his shin. He knows Yu will show up. He knows that. But part of him is still worried about how this will go.

There's also a brief moment in time where he's genuinely concerned he's going to be sick, considering the fact that his nerves are completely shot. But again, it's Yu. If anyone has remotely any chance of coaxing this particular topic out of him, it's Yu. At the fifteen minute mark though, he sits up a little taller, now growing impatient. Where are you, Yu...?]

[ Yu, on the other hand, is pretty much exactly on time. He'd started to get some things together once it was clear the conversation was heading towards a meet up, but it was only once he had time to put his CereVice down that he actually went to go get changed and head out of the apartment.

Hiro won't be disappointed. He'll spot Yu coming - that silver hair is pretty distinctive - and notice, too, that the (much) taller boy seems to have a bag hanging off his arm. Yu has a quiet smile on his face as he approaches the bench Hiro's seated on. ]

Sorry to keep you waiting.

[ He knows he's not late, but he also knows Hiro got here early. ]

I brought something for us. Have you eaten today?

It's okay. [Even at his worst Hiro's curiosity is excessive and he gives the bag a short glance before looking up at Yu. He's not really sure how to answer the question and instead there's a half-smile to go with it.]

And no. Lemme guess...that's what's in the bag? [He scoots over on the bench, compacting himself into a small Hiro-package. The thought of food isn't exactly appealing, but the least he can do is be polite since Yu took time to come out here and meet up with him.]

[ His smile widens a little, and he takes the now-available seat. Then he'll reach into his bag and pull out a clear plastic container with a bunch of... ]

Onigiri. I wasn't feeling up to very much yesterday, so I made some to pass the time. I thought I'd bring a few with me for us to share. Sorry they're not fresh...

[ He sounds a little apologetic. They're better freshly made; this is more like getting them from a convenience store. Still, he knows how Hiro is, and isn't surprised to hear his friend hasn't at all eaten today. Onigiri were about all he could stomach while he was hungover, and they make a pretty mild food, at least. ]

[He blatantly stares for a moment, not sure if he wants to laugh or cry at what he's looking at. It's so simple that it's actually sort of funny to picture a hungover Yu shuffling around making them, but they remind him of home and sort of make him homesick. Of course, home's it's own clusterfuck of a topic but instead of bothering to sort through all of that he forces his features into a lopsided grin, even finally going with a small laugh.]

Dude, don't worry about it...thanks. [He doesn't move, but he's definitely fixated on the container so he doesn't have to look at Yu.] I used to buy onigiri from this store down the street from Lucky Cat when they were out of gummy bears, but it's been a while. [One of these things is not like the other.

There's a pause as he thinks of where this conversation's going and soon he peeks up at Yu from under his bangs.] So, how bad did you feel when you woke up yesterday?

[ He does notice that Hiro doesn't take it from him. After a moment, he'll simply set it on the bench between them. if he needs to return it to its bag, that's alright. ]

You should eat, if you haven't. I promise I'm not a terrible cook. [ His eyes are warm with his amusement.

At least, until Hiro asks him that question, and he grimaces a little. Perhaps a bit more than he would usually, for comical effect. ]

I've never been hungover before. I had no idea what I was in for. I thought the headache would go away quickly... I was wrong. [ He sighs. ]

[He knows. He's still eyeing the container even if there's a soft snort of response.] I never thought you were. I'll eat in a little bit. I'm not really hungry.

[He leans back on the bench, finding it hard to really relax but still allowing himself to grin at Yu's response.] Too bad one of your Persona couldn't heal you from that. But in the end, was it worth it? Everything from prom and everything that came from you being drunk and everything after.

[There. Might be a specific reason he's asking.]

Worth it?

[ That's an interesting way of putting it. He watches Hiro with inscrutable eyes, thoughtful. ]

Yeah.

That's good. [A soft, almost hesitant smile.] I talked to Minato this morning. He seemed pretty okay with all of it but that guy's impossible to read sometimes. I just wanted to make sure your night wasn't totally unsalvageable or anything.

[ He talked to Minato? About us?

Yu smiles a little, touched that his friend reached out on his behalf, if also a little embarrassed. ]

You're right in that he can be tough to get a read on. But I'm okay with the way things happened. And that's in large part thanks to you, Hiro. I owe you one.

[He won't say to the extent, but he's very adamant that Yu doesn't get hurt from this. He likes Minato, but Yu will always be the more important of the two. He won't say that Minato reached out to him first to tease him about Ruby. That isn't important right now.

If anything, he's more than surprised that Yu's thanking him and he blinks up at him, mouth open in a small show of surprise before he slowly shakes his head.] You actually don't owe me anything. Like...[There's a short huff of laughter.] Why would you even say that?

Because without you, I'm pretty sure things would have gone differently between Minato-san and I. The thing is, until you and I spoke, I was convinced he didn't want anything to do with me ... like that, anyway. [ He says it a bit awkwardly, and he smiles a little. ] I was planning on apologizing and telling him I wasn't going to bother him anymore. [ Yu turns his head to look at Hiro directly, his gaze clear, his expression mildly fond. ]

You changed that. And now, things might go in a direction I wasn't expecting. Seriously, thanks.

[Is that true? Could it possibly be true? Could he really have changed something when he only said what made the most sense? It wasn't even his business; he'd only butted in and offered his suggestions to things that he had zero experience with. Yu could thank him all he wants, but he's convinced that he only guided Yu to what he already knew.

It makes him wonder if it's possible he really had an effect on anyone else. He doesn't say anything for a long moment, staring at Yu, unblinking and awkward before he tries to grin in response. It doesn't work, but it's a good effort.]

It's just...this is the only chance we're gonna have for some stuff like this. We all have to stick together. But...you're welcome, I guess. [He chews on his lip, staring at his sneakers that're resting on the edge of the bench as he thinks.] ...we can change other things, can't we?

The only chance...

[ Yu echoes that quietly, with no intention of really continuing that line of thought. But it does remind him of a number of things. Things he'd kind of let fall by the wayside while he was getting swept up in all that was happening. He'd had so many girls interested in him back in Inaba... he'd even had a girlfriend, technically, even if that had been a pretend/temporary thing, technically. But there had been a reason he'd ended up never pursuing anything, or turning down anyone who approached him... a reason he'd walked away from poor Yumi, a reason he'd held off on hugging Rise, a reason he'd told Yukiko they were friends.

Forming attachments when he was just going to leave hadn't felt right. But what's any different about this place? In fact, isn't the risk even greater here? He won't even have any control over whether or not he might leave...

Or whether Minato might leave.

At the same time... Minato isn't quite like anyone else he's ever been interested in before, is he?

He has a lot to think about. In the meantime, he thinks he can tell why it is Hiro's actually called him out here. His smile fades, his expression returning to neutral as he watches Hiro thoughtfully.

In the end, he doesn't agree or disagree. Just ducks his head, trying to catch Hiro's eye, nodding for him to go on. Something about his body language says: It's alright, Hiro. ]

[He refuses to look him in the eye, but he can tell that Yu's approaching this as he usually does in his non-judgmental manner. (He knows that Yu can be a judgmental guy, but never in these cases.) It's why he feels he can actually maybe start to talk to him, maybe start to sort out things he's thinking of.]

...yeah. [He pauses, swallowing thickly to try and clear the sudden lump in his throat.] This is sort of a place where we get chances we can never have in our own worlds, y'know? What if...[He stops again, pausing as he tries to figure out where to start.] Do you think the chances we take here can maybe change the stuff in our own worlds?

[ For a long moment, Yu doesn't say anything, soaking in that question. His face betrays nothing of his thoughts.

Of course he can figure out right away why Hiro is asking. There can only be one reason. The power to affect fate... to override maybe the worst fate of all. On the one hand, to say yes to that question would feel like posing false hope. There's no overriding death... at least, not a death like Tadashi's. On the other hand, what CERES is doing should be impossible in the first place, shouldn't it? And Yu has seen all kinds of impossible things. Could it be done? Could the technology CERES uses to project their code on Tellus be used on other worlds? ]

I don't know. But it seems like you might think so.

[ It's true. There's no judgment in his voice. Only a sort of quiet, thoughtful curiosity. ]

We're code. We should be able to fix it and write it to be whatever we want, that's the point of coding in the first place. Upgrades and rewrites. But...people do restorations all the time to go back to older other versions. I don't want that. I want to keep everything that's happened but fix things for the better.

[He's put thought into this, it seems.] ...he's unhappy here. [It's said very, very quietly.] He doesn't think he deserves to be happy here because he's dead back home. He doesn't realize that he wasn't supposed to die. [And he stops to see what Yu says, realizing there's no way to turn this conversation around and avoid it.]

[ There's so much he could say to that. So much, he doesn't even know where to begin.

Is anyone supposed to die?

Nanako wasn't supposed to die.

Tadashi...

Yu is silent for a long time. Longer than Hiro might even be comfortable with. Finally: ]

I won't ask if you understand the enormity of what you're saying. I know you do. I think anything like this is worth at least trying. [ He finally glances at Hiro again, after a long moment spent looking away. ] But how would you test it?

[What a good question. He doesn't know, truthfully, and Yu's right in that the stretch of silence is almost uncomfortable. For a moment, he'd thought Yu would actually tell him it was a stupid idea. This isn't the case and he's left struggling with putting his thoughts into words.]

...there's that Nexus. It's where we supposedly all go when our code gets corrupted somehow, and...and people have come back out of there with new memories. I could test it myself. I could fix the coding and then test my own memories to see if I had new ones of Tadashi being alive. Something. Something that wouldn't hurt him or anybody else. I could try that. If it didn't work I could rewrite the code again until it did.

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